Stress, worry, fear etc & the Christian

Philippians 4:4-9 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Today, I’d like all of us to really look closely at the passage above and reflect on it. When Paul wrote this to the Philippians, they weren’t having an easy time of it. Times were hard and their lives were filled with stress, worry and fear. This is the Lord’s prescription for that condition. He not only tells us what we need to do and why, but also what He will do in return when we are obedient.

Let’s start at the beginning then. He says to rejoice in the Lord always. This means in the midst of severe trials, illness, fear, worry, depression or whatever, we are to rejoice in the Lord.

How do we do that and what exactly does it mean? For starters it doesn’t mean that we need to rejoice that the “bad thing” is happening. Instead, we should rejoice that we know our Lord is with us and will help us overcome it, or depending on the circumstances, that He will work the situation out for our good because we are called by Him, or something along those lines. It’s pretty much the same thing, of replacing whatever the situation is with God’s Truth and rejoicing in Him for that Truth.

The next sentence is to let your gentleness be evident to all. That almost seems out of place in this passage doesn’t it? But if you think about it a minute, you’ll realize that when we are feeling worry, fear, depression, stress etc. that whether we recognize it or not, anger is also often present. Now when you think of anger or stress or those other emotions, they just don’t go together with gentleness. Not even depression, because with depression we’ve gone to the extreme of not caring about anyone or anything and only thinking of ourselves. For our gentleness to be evident to all, we must think of others and how they view us. Can you imagine gentleness being joined with anger? Or Stress? I sure can’t! Here he is showing us the kind of spirit we are to aim for. He says it more outright here:

Ephesians 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Next he assures us that the Lord is near. He is telling us that the Lord is perfectly aware of our problems, and of our situation. He knows our thoughts and our struggles. He is not far away, but is instead near to us. He wants us to remember that and to know that our prayers, aren’t going a long distance to be heard, but are heard instantly by the One who is near us and will never leave us.

Next he tells us: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Let’s look and see exactly what he’s talking about here. The dictionary says anxious means to be characterized by extreme uneasiness of mind or brooding fear about some contingency. Related words would be scared, worried, terrified, apprehensive, upset, uneasy, troubled, frightened, agitated, jittery. Sound familiar?

We are told that we are not to allow those emotions but instead of them, or when we know those emotions may try to break through, and even to prevent them from happening, we are to take everything to God in prayer—but not just pray for what we want but with thanksgiving! That goes right back to his very first sentence: rejoice in the Lord always! So we take the problem/situation/concern to God in prayer and ask Him to take care of it for us. Then we thank Him for taking care of it for us. We can do that because we know from His Word that He will hear our prayers and that He will answer and that His answer will always be to work everything for our good. Then we rejoice in Him, that He loves us, saved us, is concerned for us, takes care of us, is always thinking of us…etc.

Paul tells us that when we do that then, the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Really look at that sentence. He is saying that God’s peace will actually guard our hearts and our minds! His peace will protect us from those sinful kinds of thoughts/emotions. The original word that is translated “guard” means to hem in, to protect and keep with a garrison (a garrison is a military fortified post), to mount a sentinel, to watch for in advance. Now if that’s not one fantastic promise to hold on to and to pray for and thank Him for and rejoice in Him for, then I don’t know what is! (nor is this the only place in the bible that God tells us He will do this for us!)

Finally Paul gives us more ammunition to use against the sinful thoughts when he says: Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Obviously we can’t just think of “nothing”, so he tells us what we should have in our minds. This is also a guide for us to use to determine if a thought is sinful or if it’s something we should be thinking on. Using this as our guide, we can’t go wrong and there is no confusion. Spend time reflecting on this verse—what it is saying and what each of words means.

Last of all Paul ends this passage with this: Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Obviously we can’t have learned or received anything from Paul if we don’t study God’s Word, so this again shows how important that is. Just as important however is that next bit: put it into practice! We cannot expect God’s peace to guard us if we’re not willing to obey and put into practice the things God tells us to do. But, if we do put it into practice then God will be with us and He is the God of peace. He is the God of peace who will guard our hearts and minds.

So we’re not in this alone! God will help us! In fact He wants to help us. He longs to help us! He won’t do the work for you however. Just as we aren’t helping our children if we do their schoolwork for them, since then they won’t have learned anything, so He really wouldn’t be helping us if He did the work for us. If we do though, then He rewards us by guarding our hearts and minds. The more we practice His ways, the stronger that guard becomes. I can speak of this through personal experience. It is more then worth the effort my friends!

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Stress, worry, fear etc & the Christian

I think most of the time it's our flesh that causes us to begin to worry or fear and then when we continue to feed it, Satan then steps in and eggs us on. I say that because the Bible says:

James 1:13-15 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, (when we have a desire, good or bad, it is preceded by a thought) he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

Since Satan can't hear out thoughts, he can't be the instigator at least at first. So it's our own sin nature, our flesh that starts the cycle. The first bad thought starts the cycle. When it's not stopped, each subsequent thought entices us to continue in the sinful thoughts and we are once again slaves to sin instead of being free in Christ. Once we've begun the sinful inner dialog, most of us tend to eventually speak some of it out loud, whether we're telling a friend or whatever. Plus Satan and his demons can observe our behavior and generally things like this don't just happen once, they happen over and over. It's actually a besetting sin. So when the enemy sees us becoming discouraged, worried, depressed etc. he knows it's because of our thoughts, so he and his demons encourage us to continue in those sinful thoughts egging us on and telling us more lies. Depending on how worried, or depressed we are, will determine if we fall for it or not. Obviously the more worried or depressed we are, the deeper we are in that sin so the easier it is for the enemy to keep us there.  This is what Paul is talking about here:

Romans 6:16-23 Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?

But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.

I put this in human terms because you are weak in your natural selves. Just as you used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer them in slavery to righteousness leading to holiness.

When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death!

But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

You see, it's obedience to God by renewing our minds and stopping those evil thoughts cold that leads to holiness and maturity in Christ.  It's not something that happens overnight, it's hard work and work we have to do every day.  Just putting a stop to those thoughts doesn't lead to holiness and maturity in Christ though, it when we replace them with God's Truth that it leads to those things.  Why?  For a couple of reasons.

First because we have to study and know God's Word in order to use it.  Just as Jesus rebuked Satan with His Word, so do we.  Remember when Jesus was tempted for 40 days and how He always answered the temptations with "it is written"?  Here's one of His replies:

Matthew 4:4 Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”

The better we know God's Word, the better we know God and the closer we become to Him especially if we are spending time in prayer as well. And spending time in prayer is essential to this too since we need His help to find the right verses to fight the thoughts with. 

So it's kind of like a circle here too.  The better we know God and His Word, the better able we are to put an end to the sinful lies in our minds.  The more we put an end to those sinful lies, the better we will know God and the closer to Him we'll become.  So because of that, it leads to holiness, righteousness, and maturity in Christ.  See what I mean?
 
When we have that first sinful thought, the only way it can continue is if we feed it.  We feed it by giving it more sinful thoughts/words which produce the emotion in us that Satan then uses to egg us on to feed it more and more.  The sin cannot survive and cannot continue unless we feed it!

Just as sin cannot continue without being fed, so we cannot grow in our faith without being fed.  God tells us right up front that we can't live on just bread for out bodies.  If we try to, we will die spiritually.  We will starve ourselves to death.  When we don't read/study God's Word daily, we are not feeding our spiritual selves. 

We tend to not think much of it if we skip a day of reading God's Word or reflecting on it, yet each time we do that, we are quite literally starving ourselves.  Because we don't feel it physically like we do when it's physical hunger, we ignore it to our own peril.  We are told once we are saved:

2 Peter 3:18 But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.

The only way that can be done is by renewing our minds daily with His Word which feeds us and gives us the strength we need to continue on each day.  Just as sin can't grow without being fed, righteousness also can't grow without being fed.

The neat thing about overcoming these sinful thoughts is that the more we do this, stopping them and replacing them with God's Word, eventually we will be in control and the sinful thoughts won't come as often or as forcefully anymore.  Eventually even when they do happen, our response will be so automatic that it will hardly take any thought or effort at all to do. Basically, by obeying God in this, we are forming a new habit of righteous thinking to replace the old habit of sinful thinking.

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Stress, worry, fear etc & the Christian

Now that we understand that the renewing of our minds is something that we do in obedience to God’s command to put off our old self’s and be made new in the attitudes of our minds.

Ephesians 4:22-27 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

The Lord gives us the ability to do this and the strength and self discipline to do it.

2 Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

Of course, as with everything else, we must ask His help and trust in Him to give us that help. Like everything else in His Word though, He wouldn’t tell us to do something without giving us the ability to do it.

I wanted to share another verse with you too that speaks to this idea of “thought control”.

Ephesians 4:29-30 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

We already know that before we speak a word verbally the thought must already be in our minds. Therefore if we are not to allow unwholesome talk, then we must also stop the unwholesome thoughts, correct?

To further show that this is indeed what the Lord intends, please look at this next verse which I’m sure we’re all very familiar with. However we don’t usually look at it in connection with this:

Matthew 5:27-28 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

What is involved for a man to look at a woman lustfully? (Or for a woman to look at a man lustfully?) What is behind it? Thoughts are behind it! It’s what the man or woman is thinking that is the sin! So here, Jesus is telling us to control our thoughts and not just our actions!

Please look back up at Ephesians 4:29-30 now. Notice the last line which says, “and do not grieve the Holy Spirit”. Sin grieves the Holy Spirit. Thoughts that are lies and contrary to God’s Truth are sins. They are thoughts expressing our doubts about God, about His love for us, His willingness to help us, or His ability to, etc. These kind of thoughts that God wants us to control are sins.

That thought alone made me feel just awful when I first realized it. Oh I knew that I was a sinner and that I sinned every day, but I didn’t realize to just what extent I was sinning. When I finally realized it, it just crushed me. And that’s what it’s supposed to do! When the Lord reveals sin in our lives to us, He doesn’t do it to just make us feel bad; He does it so that we will repent (turn away from it) and not do it anymore. (or at least put forth the effort not to do it anymore)

2 Corinthians 7:9-10 yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.

When we feel that godly sorrow, it causes us to want to do everything we can to not repeat that sin. God sees and hears that and He responds both by forgiving us and helping us overcome it.

Psalm 51:17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Lastly let’s take one more look at the first passage I posted today from Ephesians 4:22-27. Again, notice the last line in that passage: “do not give the devil a foothold”. When we allow those thoughts to continue without stopping them, we are giving Satan a foothold in our lives. He uses those thoughts to make us ineffective Christians and to prevent us from living a life of victory in Christ.

The Lord has no desire for us to be depressed, worried and all stressed out. He can’t use us when we’re like that, but more then that, He loves us and doesn’t like to see us hurting like that! Do you remember what Jesus said He came to us for?

John 10:10 The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.

If you think about all the kinds of thoughts we listed before as the type we need to stop and bring into the obedience of Christ, what kind of attributes to they have? They’re negative, and they destroy our peace, our relationship with the Lord and they destroy our very lives! That alone should more then give us a clue that they are not from God but from Satan! That’s Satan’s job description! Our Lord came for the opposite reason though. He came to save us and to give us a full life here and now—a life full of His love, peace and joy! Our Lord doesn’t tell us that hard work and strict observance of His rules is our strength, He tells us that His joy is our strength!

When we renew our minds by replacing those bad thoughts with the Truth from His Word, then we can finally begin to experience an abundant life of victory in Christ full of the joy of the Lord. That, my friends, is what our Lord wants for us!

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Re: Stress, worry, fear etc & the Christian

While the answer the Lord gives us to combat the problems of worry, fear, depression, etc. isn't "easy" because it does involve actual work on our part and actually taking responsibility for ourselves and our thoughts and emotions, it does work!  I know that for a fact from His Word which we know is infallible and from my own personal experience.  The more you put into it, the more you'll get out of it and the more emotionally, mentally, and spiritually healthy you will be.

I have more on this for us but I want to make sure everyone's had a chance to absorb my last two posts before i post anymore on it.

practical methods to handle worry, fear, depression etc.

more on practical methods

Stress, worry, fear etc & the Christian

Mark, the only thoughts you have to "take captive" are the ones that aren't true; The negative, false, the lies, etc. The thoughts you take captive are the ones that say things like:

God's abandoned me; God isn't going to rescue me or help me etc this time; God hates me; God doesn't care what's happening in my life right now; "If God doesn't help me now that means I've done something terrible to displease Him." "If I don't pay the bill I'll lose my house". "I'm going to wind up losing my house". "no one cares." " No one can or will help me." "I'm stupid". "I'm ugly" "I'm such a horrible sinner God couldn't possibly forgive me". "I keep sinning so that's why God is letting this happen." "God hates me". "God only cares about my spiritual life not my physical life". "I can't stop sinning so why bother trying". "I can't stop sinning so I must not be saved." "Why me." "I've been good so why do I have to suffer? God isn't fair!" "I don't know what to do, the Lord never speaks to me" "I can't hear or understand what He is telling me to do". "I can't"

The negative "what ifs" thoughts and fantasies as well as any sinful "what if" thoughts and fantasies.

Fantasizing about things you know are sinful or that could lead you into sin; Fantasizing about things you have no control over to the point that they upset and worry you.

It is one thing to consider what you would do "if something happened", but quite another thing to allow yourself to fantasize over and over about "bad things" happening and how it would affect you since you have no control of those things at all and it goes against the commands of God not to do that. He tells us outright not to worry about tomorrow; that He is in control and we are to trust Him. Therefore when we do this, we are sinning and the root of that sin or at least one of the roots is a lack of faith and trust in God and a lack of belief that He loves you and will care for you and help you.

These are the kinds of thoughts that we are to "stop" and "take captive". All other thoughts we can allow to continue.

As you can tell by the examples, I've had a lot of experience in thinking those kind of thoughts and could give another dozen examples easily.

Stopping the thoughts and taking them captive is work. I'm not going to kid you about that. The alternative though is to continue to be worry, be angry, upset, stressed and depressed and to continue to allow your emotions and thoughts to control you rather then controlling them the way our Lord wants us to.

I can tell you though what will happen when you start to do this.

At first you won't realize that you're having the thoughts until they're completed and you're starting to worry etc. At that point you'll stop them and make them captive. As time goes on and you continue to practice this daily, you'll start to recognize those kind of thoughts sooner and quicker until eventually--(this usually takes months though) you'll realize they're starting practically before the first "word" of the thought is formed! Again you'll continue to stop it and take it captive.

As more time goes by and you continue to do this daily, you'll begin to realize that these kind of thoughts are occurring less and less frequently too. It's almost like when you start you're in the middle of a flood of them, and by this time, the flood is down to a trickle. This is very encouraging and shows you how much progress you've made! You'll see by this too that you're actually not worrying, or fearful or depressed much anymore either! It's amazing!

Lest someone think that this is the same or similar to "positive thinking", it really is not! The key here is God's Word! At the same time that you're striving to stop and take these thoughts captive, you need to be in His Word and using His Word to replace them with. Your words won't help, His Words will!

I know I told you that at first it was OK to "paraphrase" and use your own words and it is, but you should make every attempt to immediately or as soon as possible, get to your bible and find what His Word really says and use that instead of your own words. Write it down because you'll surely need that Word again!

So you can see too that stopping your thoughts in their tracks when they're negative and not true, and replacing them with God's Truth, not only is being obedient to the Lord but it helps you know His Word, and can make your relationship with Him closer too.

We all pretty well know what our thought patterns are and where our weakness are as well as our sins. Plus all we have to do is ask the Lord for help and He will show us and show us where in His Word the Truth is to combat those thoughts and sins.

I would suggest however that to start you first pray asking the Lord for help, then go through your bible with His help and write down those verses that are most applicable to your thoughts. That way you'll have your ammunition ready when those thoughts come and you won't be fumbling for your gun.

I'll list some of the ones I've used and some I still use which might help everyone get started, but as I said, the best way is to ask the Lord to help you and then write down those you need the most to get started with. Once you have the hang of it though, don't just rely on those verses you start with, dig into His Word and find more! When you're reading His Word in your regular reading time, and you see one that you know will help, stop and write it down too. It won't be long before you'll have so many that you won't know what to do with them all and that will show you even more just how "wrong" and sinful those thoughts we are stopping are, and just how loving and caring our God is toward us! (by the way, you don't have to worry about remembering the chapter and verse etc, for this, just the words themselves)

Ok here are some to get you started:

2 Corinthians 5:7 We live by faith, not by sight.

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

1 Corinthians 1:8 He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.

1 Corinthians 1:9 God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.

2 Corinthians 1:21 Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us,

2 Corinthians 1:24 .... it is by faith you stand firm.

Psalm 34:4 I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.

Psalm 103:10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.

Psalm 103:11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him;

Psalm 103:12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Psalm 103:13 As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

1 Peter 5:10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

Isaiah 48:17 This is what the Lord says— your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.

2 Corinthians 4:8-9 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

2 Corinthians 4:17-18 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Psalm 27:13 I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Isaiah 46:3-4 ....you whom I have upheld since you were conceived, and have carried since your birth.

Isaiah 46:4 Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

1 Corinthians 14:33 For God is not the author of confusion but of peace,

Philippians 4:13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Hebrews 13:5 ...God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

Psalm 86:5 You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you.

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Matthew 6:33-34 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Luke 12:24-26 Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

Luke 21:14 But make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves.

Luke 21:34 “Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you unexpectedly like a trap.

Hebrews 12:2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12:3-4 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.”

Matthew 10:19-20 ...... do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.

Isaiah 43:1-2 But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

Romans 8:37-39 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:5-6 Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

Psalm 55:22 Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.

Psalm 56:4 In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?

Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Matthew 10:29-31 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Ruth 4:15 He will renew your life and sustain you in your old age.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

Psalm 44:3 It was not by their sword that they won the land, nor did their arm bring them victory; it was your right hand, your arm, and the light of your face, for you loved them.

Psalm 103:1-5 Of David. Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits— who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.


Remember, you don't have to worry about remembering the chapter and verse etc, for this, just the words themselves; and you don't have to use the entire verse or verses either, but just the part that pertains to your thoughts--as long as you're not taking it out of context. For example:

Isaiah 43:1-2 But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

In the above passage, you might just need to use this part:

I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

or maybe this part:

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

or whatever portion you need.

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Stress, worry, fear etc & the Christian

Today, we’re finally going to talk about the practical methods that the Lord gives us in His Word to overcome stress, fear, worry , depression, etc. The things the Lord gives us to do are very easy and yet require total commitment. You have to stick with it every single day. In fact the things the Lord gives us to help us, are commands from Him that we are to be doing anyway, but most of us tend to skip over that little fact.

Let me assure you that the Lord is quite aware of your thoughts and feelings every day. He wants you to be aware of them as well and more then that, He expects us to take control of them. While the world teaches us that we are at the mercy of our feelings and thoughts, God’s Word tells us that instead we are to be in conscious control of them at all times.

2 Corinthians 10:5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Think of it this way. We know how powerful God’s Word is, well our words are also very powerful. We know that God’s Word is just as powerful when we’re thinking it, reading it, or speaking it right? Our words are also powerful in all those ways. In other words, the words we think, our thoughts, are “words” and they are powerful! It is our thoughts that produce our emotions.

Proverbs 23:7 For as he thinks in his heart, so is he

What the Lord wants us to do is take every thought we have captive and make it obedient to Christ. How do we do this and what exactly does that mean?

First let’s talk about what it means. When you have a thought that is saying something like, “What if such and such happens thought”. You know, those fantasy thoughts of “what if my husband died and I had no one” and things like that. God says to “capture” that thought. In other words stop it cold. As soon as you catch yourself thinking something along those lines, you tell yourself to “Stop!” You stop the thought and then you make that thought obedient to Christ.

How do you make it obedient to Christ? You replace the lie (because it is a lie) with God’s Truth. In this case since we’re dealing with fantasy type thoughts here, perhaps you could replace it with these verses:

Ephesians 3:20-21 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Matthew 6:31-33 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Philippians 4:13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

You don’t have to worry about remembering an entire verse or anything like that, as long as you get the point that God is trying to get across to you in the verse itself. So while it is best to be able to use the actual verses, you can at first simply replace the “bad” thought with something like, “God will meet all my needs, I don’t have to worry” until you’re able to actually recall the verses that the Lord gives you.

Do you understand the principal here? No matter what the thought is, it is a lie if it is causing you worry, fear, stress, depression etc.

1 John 4:16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

Therefore what God is commanding us to do is to first stop the lies in their tracks as soon as we realize we are thinking them and then replace the lies with His truth. This is what the renewing of your mind is which Paul refers to here:

Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Ephesians 4:22-24 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

This doesn’t happen by some mystical force, at least not entirely. This happens through good hard work on our part. Then when we do our part, replacing the lies with God’s Word, with His Truth, God then renews our minds, and little by little our attitudes are made new.

There is more to this, but I know this is getting long and I really want everyone to be able to read and reflect on this part alone for now, so I’ll add more tomorrow. Please feel free to ask any questions though!

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Trials and Tribulations

This is just so perfect and important I had to add it here for us.

“Look upon mine affliction and my pain; and forgive all my sins.”
— Psalm 25:18

It is well for us when prayers about our sorrows are linked with pleas concerning our sins—when, being under God’s hand, we are not wholly taken up with our pain, but remember our offences against God. It is well, also, to take both sorrow and sin to the same place. It was to God that David carried his sorrow: it was to God that David confessed his sin. Observe, then, we must take our sorrows to God. Even your little sorrows you may roll upon God, for he counteth the hairs of your head; and your great sorrows you may commit to him, for he holdeth the ocean in the hollow of his hand. Go to him, whatever your present trouble may be, and you shall find him able and willing to relieve you. But we must take our sins to God too. We must carry them to the cross, that the blood may fall upon them, to purge away their guilt, and to destroy their defiling power.

The special lesson of the text is this:—that we are to go to the Lord with sorrows and with sins in the right spirit. Note that all David asks concerning his sorrow is, “Look upon mine affliction and my pain;” but the next petition is vastly more express, definite, decided, plain—“Forgive all my sins.” Many sufferers would have put it, “Remove my affliction and my pain, and look at my sins.” But David does not say so; he cries, “Lord, as for my affliction and my pain, I will not dictate to thy wisdom. Lord, look at them, I will leave them to thee, I should be glad to have my pain removed, but do as thou wilt; but as for my sins, Lord, I know what I want with them; I must have them forgiven; I cannot endure to lie under their curse for a moment.” A Christian counts sorrow lighter in the scale than sin; he can bear that his troubles should continue, but he cannot support the burden of his transgressions.

Spurgeon, C. H. (2006). Morning and evening : Daily readings (Complete and unabridged; New modern edition.) (April 11 PM). Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers.

Too often today, especially with the pervasive influence of the word of faith/prosperity gospel, people have a tendency to think that God must heal all our physical illnesses and pains; That He couldn't possibly allow them to continue.  However that's simply not true and not supportable by scripture.  Yes, He does heal, but not always unless you count the healing that will occur on the day of our death or rapture.  Then we will all be healed completely and never have pain or illness again.  Until then however, sickness and pain are part of the curse from the original sin and are something we simply must bear with.

I'm not saying we shouldn't ask for healing, but we certainly shouldn't demand it, nor should we feel "let down" if or when He doesn't heal us.  His ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts.  We can't begin to understand Him entirely --it would be like an ant thinking it could understand a human!  We know Him, yes, but we can't hope to attain to His total knowledge and wisdom.  What we can know for sure though is that He does love us and He does want what is best for us.

Most of you know that I have lived with chronic pain for 10 years now due to an accident.  God has not healed me.  He told me He wasn't going to.  He didn't say He "never" would, but simply that "now" isn't the time.  Those of you who know me, know how much He has blessed me because of this pain too.  Yes, it's a trial--a severe one, but I honestly wouldn't give it up if it meant having to give up what He's given me because of it and that's the closeness I have with Him.

We all have choices.  My mom used to say that our choice was always to laugh or to cry so why not laugh.  That made sense to me and I've tried to live by that.  However she wasn't a believer so didn't know the Lord.  Now I know our choice goes beyond that. 

Our choice is to live our lives knowing that we are beloved by God and that He is doing what is best for us, no matter what our lives may "look like" to other or even ourselves; or we can live our lives constantly fighting and struggling against our circumstances trying to prove to ourselves, others and even God that we somehow deserve to have better; actually trying to prove we deserve to be loved.  What a shame when the truth is we are already loved!  Or perhaps trying to force God to prove to us that He is in fact God and can heal us.  God doesn't need to prove Himself to us though.  When we do that, it's called testing the Lord and we are told often enough in His word that we are not to do that!

This is what Paul was talking about when He said:

Philippians 4:11-13 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

He obviously was in great need many times.  He was beaten, starved, tortured at times, imprisoned, sick and in pain, etc. but he also had many "good times" when he had plenty and was healthy.

What Paul says here also has a bearing on what we're talking about:

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Again we see that Paul did ask for healing, and again we see that God's answer was "no".  Not because He didn't love Paul, not because He wanted Paul to be miserable or unhappy, but because He knew that this was necessary.  So we see from this that Paul didn't continue to badger the Lord or "claim" His healing.  Instead, in fact, he did the opposite!  He said "now I'll boast about my weaknesses!"  Paul didn't need God to prove He was God, nor did He need to prove he was worthy of God's love and healing.  Instead Paul, like David, simply trusted the Lord to do what was best and accepted His decision.

That then is what we need to do as well when we have trials of any kind.  Yes, take them to the Lord!  But don't insist that He do things our way or the way that we think He should.  Listen for His answer and accept it; remembering that He knows better then we do.

Like David too we also need to remember to examine ourselves for sin and when we find it, to take that to the Lord as well, asking His forgiveness and knowing that He will always forgive us because He loves us.

Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

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Stress,worry,fear etc & the Christian

Let's talk about fear today because that's been brought up a couple of times already. One thing I do want to point out however is that when we are feeling worried or depressed the root of those feelings is often if not always fear. If you think about it, it makes sense.

You're worried about not being able to pay your bills, why? Because you don't have the money and don't know where you're going to get it generally. So you pray that God will provide, but you're still worried. Why? Because you're afraid that He won't. You fear that He will decide for some reason--perhaps because you "haven't been good enough" lately that you deserve to fail and therefore He won't provide the money for the bills or the means to get the money.

Or let's look at depression. We'll use the bills scenario again. You're now depressed because you haven't been able to pay your bills and things are tight and have been for awhile. You've asked God for help but it doesn't seem to be forthcoming...at least not when you want it to be--like preferably yesterday or at least right now. So you get depressed. You're depressed in fact because you're afraid that God has abandoned you or somehow decreed that you are to be made to deal with it on your own without His help. You can think of all kinds of reasons that He has decided that. So the root of the problem is that you fear God has let you down and isn't helping or won't help you.

I'm sure we can each now look back at various circumstances in our lives and see where fear was the root cause of our worry, anxiety, or depression. Often the fear is that we somehow have failed God or that He has or will failed us. We know, every one of us that we're not worthy of any blessing we ask God for so when times get really hard we kind of assume that it's our fault.

Now, let's look at what God says about this.

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

No "not made perfect in love" does not mean that the person isn't saved! It simply means that they are not "complete" in love yet. The original word translated "perfect" means more like the perfection achieved when we are complete, mature in our salvation.

Fear isn't from God unless it's the "Fear of the Lord". The fear we're talking about here began in the garden of Eden.

Genesis 3:9-10 But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

Fear was birthed by the first sin and it is now part of our old sin nature. But remember at our salvation God gave us a new nature, and made us a new creation. That fear we feel from our sin nature is alien to our new nature!

Our whole walk with God from the moment of salvation to the day of the rapture is becoming more mature in our faith so that we express more of our new nature and less of our sin nature. Then on the day of our blessed hope, the rapture, we finally are rid of our sin natures for good and receive our new bodies.

As we walk with the Lord and grow in our faith we exhibit more and more of the fruits of that new Spirit within us:

Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

As you can see the very opposite of fear is part of the fruit, the consequences, of living in our new spirit. There is no fear in love!

Anxiety, fear, depression--it's all replaced more and more by God's peace when we have learned to trust Him and trust His Grace and mercy in our lives, until it's totally gone.

God is the one who works this change in us, but we must cooperate with Him in this too. We must strive to always put Him first, stay in communion/prayer with Him and stay in His word to learn more of Him, for it is only through knowing Him better and becoming closer to Him that our new spirit grows. This is what it means when we say like John did, that we must decrease so He can increase.

John 3:30 He must increase, but I must decrease.

The more we are filled with Him, the less our old sin nature will have it's way with us. The more we trust Him, and trust in His love and our salvation, the more we will know, not just believe, that we have no need to fear anything. This next verse from Romans shows this very well:

Romans 8:15-16 For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.

Here are a couple of other verses to show you that fear isn't from God, but rather He desires us to accept His peace in it's place.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Isaiah 26:3-4 You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.

Thankfully God also gives us some practical ways to overcome fear, anxiety,worry, depression etc. when we do fall prey to them. I've discussed this before in other studies but I don't think we've covered it here, so I'll go over it again tomorrow for us.

 

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Honoring an un-honorable parent

Honoring an un-honorable parent

Originally Posted by pops49

Hey Cindy

I hope I'm asking this right. What does the bible say about being around somebody who's truly mean and corrupt? and what if that person is one of your parents?

I was going to post in trials first but needed to ask here first. Thanks

That's really a HUGE question but I'll do my best for you. This is going to be long though as I want to give you a bunch of scriptures for you to reflect on so you'll know what God's Word says about this. If you want to just skim over the scriptures for now and just read what I wrote, that's fine, but I want you to have them so you can reflect on them later at your leisure.

You don't say if your parents say they are saved or not or which parent it is, so I'll have to cover both possibilities. The reason I said you don't say if they say they are saved is because the one acting this way most likely isn't saved regardless of what they say. But without further information from you I can't be sure...so I'm going to assume that this parent is an angry, mean corrupt person most of the time, which says to me that they aren't saved regardless of whether or not they say they are.

Ok let's start with the basics about parents, children, love and honor. One of the ten commandments is that we are to honor our parents:

Deuteronomy 5:16 “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

It's important for us then to know what was meant by the word that was translated to "honor". Basically it means that we are to value or prize them highly. Children show this by obeying their parents; adult children show this by continuing to treat their parents with respect.

But what if a parent isn't worthy of honor or our respect? What about a parent that abuses their child emotionally, physically, sexually, or spiritually? That kind of parent is not to be honored. It's similar to the situation a wife finds herself in when she's married to an abusive husband. God tells wives to submit to their husbands, but He also expects husbands to behave in a certain way toward their wives. He expects husbands to love their wives and treat them as Christ loved the church--which is a sacrificial love--putting the wife before himself. Parents are to love their children and God tells parents how they are to treat their children too, just as He tells husbands how to treat their wives.

Besides letting us know how husbands should love their wives, God tells us how we are to love each other, especially among family members. Most everyone is familiar with the "love chapter" in the bible but most don't really "get it" because they look at it as the "ideal" rather then God's instructions to us of how we are to love.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

And here the Lord is more specific about parents:

Colossians 3:20-21 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Basically these verses are saying that parents shouldn't provoke or irritate their children by continually making unreasonable demands of them. When a parent does this, they are not loving their children in the way the Lord expects them too. Now obviously we cannot expect someone who is unsaved to know God's commands or even care about them. But since you yourself are saved and you do know God's commands, you can see that your parent is not walking in God's ways and by this that they are not loving you the way that the Lord commands us to.

Here again is a passage showing us that God expects parents to be good to their children:

Matthew 7:9-12 “Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

Matthew 18:6 But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.

But there is more to parenting then just loving our children. Parents are to train their children in God's ways and they are to discipline their children too. No child enjoys it when they are being disciplined, but it is a very important part of being a parent.

Proverbs 29:15 The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.

Proverbs 15:5 A fool spurns his father’s discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence.

So even though we don't like discipline, it's necessary and when we are saved, God will also discipline us, just as any good parent would do for their child. (by the way, there is a big difference between discipline and abuse, and between spanking a child and beating them. God does not want any child to be beaten or abused in any way!)

Hebrews 12:7-11 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

From what you've said though, I doubt if the problem you have is because you didn't like being disciplined as a child. I only brought that up, "just in case" since you didn't give me a lot to go on.

I think by these you can see that the parent treating you badly is not walking in obedience to the Lord. So the question is, where does that leave you? How then are you to react toward them? Your particular situation sounds a bit more difficult in that it sounds like one of your parents is living in sin and the other isn't. That makes it a bit more difficult because you need to show respect and love toward the one who is living the way the Lord tells us too, and if they require you to have an ongoing relationship with the other parent, that's where it could get sticky....I don't think I'll deal with that unless you say that is indeed part of the problem...

So, how do you act? For that we need to look at how the Lord tells us to act in general now. For one thing, you're an adult now and not a child. I assume that you are not living at home with your parents any longer too. (If you are living with them, in their home, then there are some other things that need to be considered...again I won't address that though unless you say that is what's going on)

First, when dealing with the "good" parent, you act toward them with love and respect. You "honor" them just as the Lord says to.

Second, when dealing with the parent that you're having problems with, while you don't have to "honor" them per se, you do need to love them anyway. The difference is that while you're loving the one parent because they've been a good parent and have loved you and cared for you, you'll be loving the "bad" parent because they are in effect your "enemy", and the Lord tells us that we are to love our enemies:

Matthew 22:37-40 Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Matthew 5:43-48 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Luke 6:35-36 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

By those you can see that you are to love them, pray for them and do good things for them when you can. BUT that doesn't mean that you have to spend time with them. While adult children should normally make time regularly to spend with their parents, that's only in a mutually loving situation. That's when the relationship between the child and both parents is a good one.

So Third,since your relationship with one of your parents isn't good due to their mistreatment of you (and from what you said, most likely their mistreatment of others too) it would be best if you simply stayed away from that person entirely or at least as much as is possible for you. That is what the Lord tells us to do. Here are some passages that speak to this:

Proverbs 12:26 A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

Proverbs 13:20 He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.

1 Timothy 6:20-21 Timothy, guard what has been entrusted to your care. Turn away from godless chatter and the opposing ideas of what is falsely called knowledge, which some have professed and in so doing have wandered from the faith. Grace be with you.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.

1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”
2 Corinthians 6:17 “Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord.

Proverbs 22:24-25 Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared.

Galatians 5:9 A little leaven leavens the whole lump.

1 Thessalonians 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil.

Fourth, the important thing to think of is your own spiritual health in this. God tells us that we are not to allow ourselves to stay angry at someone as it could become bitterness in us, or it could precipitate sinful actions on our part, both of which are sins and not good for us. So we need to examine ourselves too and make sure that there is no root of bitterness in us and if there is, we then need to work that out with God.

2 Corinthians 13:5 Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test?

God's word tells us what kind of things He does not want to see in us as well as what kind of things we should be doing. I'll post some scriptures about that as well for you to go over. If you find any sin, then of course you need to confess it and He will be faithful to forgive your sin.

Hebrews 12:14-15 Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness

Fifth, keep in mind that we are always to put God above everyone else, including our parents. That's what Jesus is saying here:

Luke 14:26-27 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.

So when a parent is doing something that is against God's Will or His Word, or when they are saying that you should do something like that, we must obey God and not the parent.

So what's the conclusion of all this:

You are to love the parent but you don't have to spend time with them; you are to pray for them and even do good things for them if they ask, but again you don't and shouldn't hang out with them since they are a bad influence and are not godly. You are to forgive them. You are to search and examine yourself to see if you are in sin from this, such as holding onto your anger, or bitterness etc. and if there is, you are to repent and confess it.

Here's some more passages about all this for you to reflect on when you have time; they should help you determine how to handle this situation. I hope this helped you some...

Psalm 37:8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 29:22 An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins.

Proverbs 27:4 Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?

Proverbs 29:8 Mockers stir up a city, but wise men turn away anger.

Proverbs 29:11 A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.

Ecclesiastes 7:9 Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.

Ephesians 4:26-27 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

Ephesians 4:31-32 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

James 1:19-20 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

James 1:22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.

James 1:26 If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.

2 Corinthians 12:20 For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder.

Colossians 3:8-10 But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.

1 Timothy 2:8 I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing.

Hebrews 3:12-13 See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.

1 Samuel 18 on is about David & Jonathan and Saul, Jonathan's father. Jonathan "honored" his father but never helped him when he was attempting something evil and instead helped David against him. This story shows a lot about honoring parents as well as those in authority over us and what happens when the person no longer deserves honoring etc.

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