Friday, March 7, 2014

My whole life was suddenly gone

So many of us have been going through such hard times, that I thought it might help others if I shared my experiences and what the Lord taught me when I first began to go through a very hard time myself after being saved. I hope my experience and more importantly, what the Lord taught me then, will help someone else.

When I was first diagnosed and told I couldn't work anymore, I was devastated. My whole life was suddenly gone. What made it worse for me too was that out of 5 kids, they had all grown up and I only had the last one still at home and she was just about ready to fly on her own. So I was dealing with that empty nest syndrome too.

I quickly discovered that I had defined myself by what I did: being a mom, working every day in health care and being the best in my field, taking karate and going for my black belt, being active at church, etc. The Lord quickly showed me that these things weren't "me". Took me a long time to buy it though. I felt like I was totally useless and might as well be dead. I was no good to anyone, so I thought. I wasn't needed as a "Mom" anymore; I couldn't do my job, in fact, I was more like my patients then like the aide I was, so that part of me was now dead too. I couldn't do karate anymore, which for me had been great fun. I never laughed so much or had such a good time doing anything as I did there, and I was pretty good at it too and now I couldn't do any of it. It felt like all the joy was gone from my life. I still had church, but found that I was either in so much pain that it made concentrating hard, or if I took my medicine, I was nodding off during the sermon which was really embarrassing.

I really wanted to work though, at something...anything! There was just no way we could pay our bills with only one paycheck coming in. My job was not only fulfilling to me, it was necessary as it helped considerably to pay the bills. Without my check, it couldn't be done. (or so I thought anyway) I was scared to death! We didn't have much, but I sure didn't want to lose what little we did have and I most certainly didn't want to have to live on the streets and that's exactly where I thought we were heading.

But, The Lord Himself told me He didn't want me working! I still tried a bunch of times though because I had to have that pay check & I needed to "do" something. Every time I tried to work though, I failed. The doctor was right...I simply wasn't able to work anymore.

Slowly all my so called friends dropped out of my life, so I didn't have anyone to talk to either. Their lives were simply much to busy to bother with me much anymore. Slowly, the Lord spoke to me and I came to realize that who I am in Christ was much more important then who I was in the world. The Lord pointed out to me that no matter how much pain I was in there was still two things I could do and do well: Pray and teach Bible Studies.

So I joined my churches prayer team and the emergency prayer chain. I made lists of people I knew that I could pray for every day and began to do just that. LOL My list was humongous LOL; As I saturated myself in the Bible and prayer I began to feel better about me and about life. Oh I was still depressed, (I'm very stubborn LOL) but it was getting better.

I still kept trying to find a job I could do though, with no success. I was very lonely. Then one day I decided I was just going to go to every place in town that listed a job opening and apply for them regardless of what the job was. And that's exactly what I did. I got hired!!! I couldn't believe it! It was at a garage of all places too LOL So the guy hired me, takes me in his office to discuss pay and exactly what I'd be doing etc. He told me I'd be working at the counter. I asked him if there was a stool or something I could sit on and he said "No". Well, I knew there was just no way I could stand up for even an hour much less for 8 hours straight. Even if I wasn't doing anything else at all, I'd be in the emergency room before my first day was a third of the way over! He was still talking to me about what all my job would entail and now was saying that he'd pay me even more then he'd said in the ad.

But all I could hear in my head was this kind of "dead silence" of disapproval. It wasn't a "mean" silence; in fact it felt kind of sad. I knew it was the Lord. I also knew that I had to make a choice. Right then and there. It couldn't be put off anymore. I was either going to disobey the Lord and take this job (which would probably also be letting down this really nice guy because I knew I really wouldn't be able to do the job no matter how hard I tried to) Or, I was going to obey Him and tell this man that I couldn't take the job after all. (talk about humiliating!) Faced with that choice, now that it was "real and physical" instead of just a thought in my head, it only took a second to choose.

The man was still talking while this all went on in my head, and I suddenly burst into tears. I'm not talking about crying a little bit. I was sobbing like it was the end of the world. (well, to me it was the end of my world). That nice man came over and put his arm around me, handing me some Kleenex and told me "It's going to be OK". I knew something was bothering you, so you just let it all out and then you can tell me about it". Of course, that just made me cry harder Poor guy! When I could talk, I explained to him that I'd been hurt at work and that I really couldn't work anymore but I really wanted to, even though the Lord had told me He didn't want me to either. And that when he'd been talking, I knew that I had to choose whether or not to obey the Lord or to try and do the job anyway, even though I knew there was no way I could stand up that long etc. He just nodded as though there was nothing at all unusual in what I'd said and encouraged me to continue, so I told him that I chosen to obey the Lord. And that the Lord had also shown me that if I'd tried to do the job, I'd only have hurt him (the man I was talking to) because I wouldn't be able to do the job.

I don't remember what all the man said after that, except that he was very kind and obviously seemed to be on familiar terms with the Lord himself. I left there and went home and confessed my sin of continuing to try to work to the Lord. Had a nice long talk with Him then, confessing my fears that we wouldn't be able to pay our bills and that we'd have no place to live etc.

So you can understand just how completely devastating this money issue was to me, let me just say that I had lost everything I own, except for the clothes on my back and the clothes my children were wearing 3 times in my life. And I really do mean "everything". That happened quite a bit in my past, but more recently, about 4 years before I got hurt, I had again lost my home although that time I'd at least managed to keep most of my belongings. Each time it had been due to bad financial decisions and poor work habits on the part of my ex husband. Since the last time about 4 years earlier, since I was saved then, I decided to handle my money God's Way according to His Word. Losing everything each time did teach me that "things" aren't so important, but at the same time, security became very important to me, including "financial security".

So I confessed all of this to the Lord that day and had another good old fashioned cry on His shoulder.

As you can see, I was in pretty bad shape emotionally and felt very stressed out, depressed and confused. God said "don't work" but how were we supposed to pay the bills??? This is when the Lord began to teach me some very important and very basic lessons about just who was really in charge of this world, of me and of my life. First He showed me who I really was and it had nothing to do with being a mother, a wife, a good worker, karate, or anything else in my life. It had to do with Him.

As He showed me who I really was now that I was saved, I began to feel much better. He showed me many scriptures about this and I read them every day, sometimes several times a day, just letting them soak into my mind, my heart and my spirit until they became a part of me.

If you look back on what I said that I was focusing on as the things that defined myself, I'm sure you'll say that's pretty normal. Look at what I discovered though, keeping in mind that everything that's being said here also includes our finances--actually it includes every aspect of our lives:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cindy
I hear people who seem to think that upon becoming a Christian their lives should have suddenly gotten "better", that they shouldn't have to deal with the regular every day problems, and trials like they were before. So their "faith" weakens because they assume that Jesus isn't "doing anything". The false teachers that preach the prosperity gospel and the so called healing ministries that tell people that if you become a Christian that God will heal your body and mind and you won't have health problems anymore, only make this problem worse, because they're not only teaching lies, they're telling people that it's all about them, and it's not. It's about Him. When we become saved, we don't suddenly embark on a life of recreation and ease; a life of just happiness; no, when we sign up to be a Christian, we are signing up to be soldiers in a war! The last time I checked, most soldiers in a war zone, wouldn't consider their lives as lives of recreation and ease!

This is also very true of many people who live with pain, like me, or people who deal with chronic depression. (which many people who live with pain battle with as well.) The temptation is to make your life all about you, and as believers, we can not do that! It must be about God and about others! As humans tainted with sin, it's practically beat into us by the world to focus on ourselves. You hear it all the time out in the world: "take care of yourself" "take care of #1" along with the nice sounding line that if you don't take care of yourself, that you can't help others. But with God it doesn't work that way. He never tells us to to take care of ourselves first. He says just the opposite. He says that we are to make Him number 1 in our lives and all others should be number 2, with ourselves coming in last. Often because we are so indoctrinated with the worldview that we should put ourselves first, we just don't stop to think about if that's scriptural or not.
I think that this was one of the biggest lessons I had to learn, as it's so much the opposite of what the world teaches, and it pervades everything! Think about it: the biggest thing that pervades worldly thinking has to do with what the world calls "self esteem". That's the basis of where they get that doctrine of "take care of yourself, put yourself first" etc. That core teaching is the core of just about everything else taught in this world and it grabs Christians too without them even knowing it's wrong. They even try to use the bible to teach it. How many people do you know that honestly think that the bible says, "God helps those that help themselves"? The vast majority of people think that's in the bible! But it's not! The bible teaches the opposite of that! God's Word says that we are not to rely on ourselves, but rather that we are to rely on Him!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cindy
A Biblical View of Self-Esteem
An Explanation of Key Verses


Definitions from Webster's Unabridged Dictionary
Quote:
Self-Esteem: Undo PRIDE in oneself
Pride: Overhigh opinion of oneself; conceit

Humility: Absence of PRIDE or self-assertion

The attached Bible verse explanations detail how God views us and how we should view ourselves.
Taken in proper context, the attached Biblical references clearly indicate that there is no Biblical basis for self-esteem, self-love, self-acceptance, self-confidence, self-forgiveness, self-assertion, "proper" self-image, self-actualization, or any of the other selfisms advocated by the worldly system of psychology. The Bible's answer for our emotional "problems": turn from self to Christ (and His all-sufficient Word)..
When you're up to it, have a look at that page (see tabs at top of blog) that these posts are in and check out the scriptures too. It's very eye opening! Biblical Self-Esteem
This then was what the Lord began to teach me, drawing on my past experiences to show me His Truth in action and how it worked. I began to understand not only who I was, but who He was! I'd always thought I knew who He was and had often heard and said myself that "God is in control". Now I realized that I really hadn't believed it at all. I realized that much of what I thought I believed was only head knowledge and not heart knowledge. God is so good to us though because before I could let that start getting to me, He quickly showed me how to make it heart knowledge. I also realized that I was beginning to understand a lot more about sin as well. I mean, we all know about the 10 commandments, and I'd known of the sin of pride and a few of the other self sins as well, such as self righteousness etc. but now I was learning there were many other attitudes that were sinful and that I practiced all of them! Some of the self sins He showed me were: self sufficiencey, pride, being judgmental, self righteousness, self savior (this was a BIG one for me as I was always thinking that I could fix any problem all by myself and that no one could do it better then I could etc.); being self centered instead of God centered; self justification; being self reliant instead of relying on God; self indulgent; self serving; self seeking; ‎self-interest; and self realization which says: I have the right to claim to my life for myself (instead of knowing that my life belongs to God). I'm sure you can see how they all kind of go hand in hand and one often leads to another or morphs into another. Boy did I have a LOT to work on! Again though the Lord quickly reminded me that I was already forgiven and that this was just another step toward growing in Christ; we'd take it one day at a time.

Now, I'm condensing my learning experience for the sake of getting this all across without making it longer then necessary. The Lord didn't show me all of this on one day, or even one week. Especially not the sins. He only showed me one of those at a time and when I'd gotten that one under control, He'd show me another etc.
And He always showed me how to deal with the particular sin He'd shown me too. I'm only listing some of them here for you to give you an idea of what He was showing me.

Remember though that He was showing me all of this for two purposes. First to teach me who I was in Him and second to teach me who He was and by doing that, show me that He would take care of my finances, my home, my car, my husband, my children, the cats, and of course of me. He was teaching me to truly know Him and as I began to know Him better, I began to trust Him more. The more I trusted Him, the less anxiety and fear I had. That's putting it all in a nutshell of course and there's much more to it. 




I know I've talked about a lot of this in many of the other studies we've done here over the years so this is kind of showing how it all started; or how I first began to learn about these things. Like anything else we learn, the Lord would first show me the basics of that thing and then work with me on building my knowledge. When He thought I was ready, He would then help me take that head knowledge and turn it into heart knowledge. That's the hard part and I've found that often that's what His tests are all about. Head knowledge doesn't really help us that much, although it's a necessary first step. But when we take that knowledge and turn it into heart knowledge, then, then it makes a big difference in our lives.

Sometimes I don't like the word "test" to describe what the Lord does, but I can't think of anything else to use to explain it. It is very much like a test. The problem with that is that for many people the word "test" has some very negative connotations to them. What I want everyone to know is that the Lord doesn't test us because we've been "bad" or disobedient. When we're being disobedient and won't pay attention to His attempts to get us back where we belong, then He will discipline us, but that is entirely different from when He gives us these tests. Discipline is for when we misbehave or are disobedient. The tests are to increase our faith and as I said, to take our knowledge and turn it into heart knowledge so that it changes our lives and how we relate to this life, other people and even ourselves and of course with Him too.


So tests are not a bad thing; although we often perceive them as such. But then as I recall from when I was in school, I didn't much care for the tests then either lol So it's really no different.

How can you tell if you're being tested or being disciplined? Well, that's really pretty easy. If you're being disciplined, then you haven't been being obedient to God and we generally know when we haven't been. As for tests, I've noticed that with many of the tests I've been through, it's been very obvious, because the test will obviously involve material that I've just been studying with Him about. So, for example, when I was studying about how we're to trust God and rely on Him for everything and that fear and worry are sins; that He is our provider and will take care of us etc and suddenly the bottom falls out in our lives and Bruce is laid off work... Well it didn't take a genius to figure out that it was a test.

Or, when I was studying about love and forgiveness and our relationships with others and suddenly opportunities were present in my life where I needed to forgive; where I needed to love, to humble myself and put others wants and needs ahead of my own. Again, it didn't take much thought to realize that it was a test.

Sometimes God will also test us on things we've studied with Him in the past too, but I've noticed that He always does a quick review at least before He gives the test. And He gives all kinds of different tests, just like our teachers in school used to. It might be a quick pop quiz, or a regular scheduled test, or a dreaded semester exam. It all depends on what He knows you need to grow.

When we took tests in school, the teacher always graded us and we either passed, or failed, and if we passed, we either barely squeezed by, or did average or did really well and passed with flying colors. The bad part of our tests in school was that we often couldn't retake them if we didn't do well, so they affected our grade for the year. With the Lord though, that's not true. You WILL pass the test, no matter how many times He has to give it to you or how long it takes. It's pretty much up to you how long it takes because it's up to you how much you study and apply God's Word to your life. So if you're stuck in a test and you want out, the only way to do it is to study hard and apply what you learn.

How do I know that the Lord will get us through these tests and teach us? Because His Word says so.

Romans 14:4 (NIV) — 4 Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

If this is true, then why are there Christians who are still so worldly? It's hard to speak in generalities, but there are several possible reasons. First, they may not be saved; Second, if they are saved, then they have chosen to be disobedient and remain that way. While God will make His children stand firm, He only does that for those children who are willing to be obedient to Him. Those who choose disobedience are disciplined but if they continue to to disobey Him and ignore the leading of the Holy Spirit, eventually they will have hardened their hearts to the point where they won't be able to hear the Holy Spirit even if they suddenly decided they wanted to. God won't force us to obey Him or to do His Will even after we're saved. What He will do once we are saved, is constantly draw us toward a deeper relationship with Him and a deeper understanding of His Word and knowledge of His Will. It's till up to us however. Even after we're saved, we can turn away from Him. It will not affect our salvation, as we will still be saved, but it will affect whether or not He will be pleased with us or ashamed of us; it will affect our standing in eternity and what we will do during eternity in Heaven. He certainly is not going to have stubborn, spoiled children in charge of anything or doing anything with any importance at all! Some people don't care what they'll be doing in heaven and say it doesn't matter, but our Lord cares about what we'll be doing and has great and wondrous plans for our future there, and a great many gifts (rewards) for us too. If we refuse to listen to Him now and obey Him now though, we will lose all of that and more importantly, He will be ashamed of us, and we will be ashamed of ourselves.

1 John 2:28
(NIV) —
28 And now, dear children, continue in him, so that when he appears we may be confident and unashamed before him at his coming.


Hebrews 3:13 (NIV) — 13 But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.
2 Timothy 2:15 (NIV) — 15 Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.

Thankfully, if we don't wait too long, we can always turn from being disobedient and decide to obey Him. The reason i say "if we don't wait too long" is because we don't know when our life will be over, we could die in the next moment; and we don't know when the rapture will happen--it could occur at any second; and lastly, we have no way of knowing just how far we've tried his patience and when we will have passed that point of no return. So it's obviously much better for us to be obedient right away and not take any chances. I guess you could look at it like the child who refuses to do any work of their school work. It's not because they're stupid or incapable of doing the work, they could do it, but they just don't want to and they're stubborn, so they don't. (one of my kids tried that!) The school and teachers try all they can to get this child to do what needs doing, but when everything's been tried and nothing else can be done, there comes a point where it's time to give up and leave the child to the consequences of their decision, hoping that eventually those consequences will teach them a lesson and they'll start to cooperate. That's pretty much what Paul is talking about when he says to turn that man over to Satan:

1 Corinthians 5:5 (NIV) — 5 hand this man over to Satan, so that the sinful nature may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord.

And that's pretty much what happens with those who are saved but refuse to leave their worldly life behind and grow in Christ.
 
 
 
 When we study the Bible, we find that there are some things that are simply basic to everything else. From the very start God has told us that He wants us to love and trust Him completely. We see this all through the old and new testament. As Jesus said, loving God (and trust is implied in that) and others fulfills all the laws of the old testament. We are nothing without that love and trust. Sadly, because of our sin nature, we cannot love and trust God the way we're supposed to. God takes care of that problem by pouring out His love into our hearts when we're saved. We are able to love (and trust) Him, because He first loved us.

Yet now we come to another problem. While God does fill us with His love at salvation, it's up to us to access that love and use it. Often we use it for ourselves and forget about applying it to others as well.
Nothing takes God by surprise though and he knew that would happen, which is why He gave us His Word. It is through studying His Word that we grow up to where we can feel and access that love of His and allow it to fill us to overflowing. I've told you all about this favorite quote of mine before, but I want to share it again here for it's so true. When we're saved, "The challenge is to change from living life as a painful test to prove you deserve to be loved, to living it as an unceasing "Yes!", to the truth of your belovedness."
Besides filling us with His love when we're saved, God also gives us His Holy Spirit and we are indwelt by Jesus Himself. Jesus told His disciples that He was sending them and us His Spirit to take His place in their lives because He had to leave. So just as Jesus ordered the lives of His disciples when He was here, just as He protected them, made sure they had enough to eat, enough sleep, etc, taking care of all their earthly needs; and just as He changed them inwardly and empowered them to do His Father's Will when He was here, so the Holy Spirit did all of that for them after Jesus rose into Heaven and so the Holy Spirit does all of that for us now.

There's one big difference between us and the disciples though. When Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to the disciples, they were already pretty mature in their faith. They already loved Him and had already learned to trust Him. They were used to following His orders and doing whatever He said no matter how absurd it sounded, because they knew Him so well and knew that regardless of how silly His orders might sound, that He had a good reason for telling them to do whatever it was. So they received the Holy Spirit when they were already mature in their faith.

When we're saved though, we're like little babies. We're just like the disciples were when they first met Jesus. So when we're given the Holy Spirit, we generally don't respond the way the disciples did. The difference could be viewed like this: If someone had come to me 20 years ago and given me a computer, I wouldn't have had a clue how to use it and it wouldn't have done me any good whatsoever unless I first chose to study about how to turn it on and then all that could be done with it. But, if they came and gave me one now that I'm already fairly good at using computers, it would be a totally different story. I'd make great use of that computer and because I'd know that there were yet still more things that it could do, I'd always be alert and ready to learn more about it.

That's how it is with the Holy Spirit. Everyone who is saved has the Holy Spirit within them. However, just having the Holy Spirit within them isn't a whole lot of help because they don't have a clue what the Holy Spirit can do or will do or when or anything else about the subject. The only way the Holy Spirit is going to be able to help them is if they begin to study their bibles and keep studying them. That's our "owner's manual" so to speak. So one of the very first things that the Holy Spirit does for everyone who is saved is give them a desire to study their bibles. That's when Satan, the world and our flesh step in too though and try to prevent that from happening. Satan first wants to prevent us from being saved, but if we do get saved anyway, his next priority is to keep us away from our bibles at all costs. If He can't keep us away entirely, then his next priority is to keep us from studying the Bible--get us to just read it-we'll still get some good out of it that way, but we won't become mature in our faith and that's what Satan wants to prevent.

Now, before someone asks, God obviously uses other methods for those people who are born in areas where there are no bibles, no churches etc. But we don't live in a place like that. We live in a land where there are bibles available everywhere and you can borrow them for free from libraries or take them for free from many churches, and other places. It's far more likely here for people to have several bibles then for them not to have one at all, unless it's by choice. This is what the Lord says about those of us who've been saved:

Luke 12:48 (NIV) — ... From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.
We each have a choice when we're saved and every day thereafter. We have to choose to obey God or not to obey Him and His first command is that we study His Word. He wants us to be able to make use of the gifts and the power that is now available to us. Yes, I said "power". Again, think back to the disciples when the Holy Spirit came on them "with power". God hasn't changed my friends. His power is still available to us, we just don't see it much because most people don't know how to get plugged in or even where to put the plug to start with!

That's what I want to share with you. The secret of how to take hold of this power and use it. (It's really not a secret, or at least it shouldn't be) Again, look back at the disciples. The first step as we study is to get to know the Lord, and know Him well. We need His Word to do that now because He's not walking on this earth any longer. The better we know Him, the more we will trust Him. As we learn to know Him better, we'll also learn to be obedient and do whatever He tells us to do, even if it doesn't make any sense to us. Each time we are obedient that way, it causes our faith, our trust and our love to grow yet more and we're more confident in Him.

I know. We can't hear His voice audibly the way the disciples could, but as we study, we can apply what we learn to our daily lives which is exactly what the disciples were doing anyway. We can hear His voice in His Word. So then during the day when we meet up with that clerk who's a real jerk and we just want to smack them, we hear His voice as we remember His Word that we studied. Then, instead of smacking that clerk and giving them a good talking too and letting them know how we feel, we instead suddenly feel God's love filling us for that person, and we smile at them and remain calm, perhaps praying for them in our hearts as we stand there. As time goes by, we learn though things that the Lord lets us see,
that confirm we did right at that time. And this too increases our faith and trust in Him.

The bottom line is that the more time we put into studying His Word the way He tells us to, the closer our relationship with Him will become; and the closer we are to Him, the more we'll love Him and the more we love Him the more we'll trust Him and the more our faith will grow. This is why all the many verses in the Bible about worry, anxiety, fear, stress, etc tell us that all those things are sins. They're sins because they show that we are not trusting God, and if we don't trust Him, we're not loving Him, and our relationship with Him isn't very deep. So they can also be seen as sign posts on our walk with Him showing us what we need to work on. These things too are the areas that the Lord often tests us on to help us see how far we've come and what we need to work on next.
John 14:1 (NIV) — “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.

 
 
I've already spent way too long writing this so instead of explaining it myself, I'm going to just share with you what this commentary say about this scripture. It's really amazing and I hope it helps you as much as it has me. It's long, but that's because it's so important!

Ephesians 3:14–21 (NIV) — For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
The Petition (Eph. 3:16–19)
There are four requests in Paul’s prayer, but they must not be looked on as isolated, individual petitions. These four requests are more like four parts to a telescope. One request leads into the next one, and so on. He prays that the inner man might have spiritual strength, which will, in turn, lead to a deeper experience with Christ. This deeper experience will enable them to “apprehend” (get hold of) God’s great love, which will result in their being “filled unto all the fullness of God.” So, then, Paul is praying for strength, depth, apprehension, and fullness.

Strength (v. 16). The presence of the Holy Spirit in the life is evidence of salvation (Rom. 8:9); but the power of the Spirit is enablement for Christian living, and it is this power that Paul desires for his readers. “Ye shall receive power, when the Holy Spirit is come upon you” (Acts 1:8, literal translation). Jesus performed His ministry on earth in the power of the Spirit (Luke 4:1, 14; Acts 10:38), and this is the only resource we have for Christian living today. As you read the Book of Acts, you see the importance of the Holy Spirit in the life of the church, for there are some fifty-nine references to the Spirit in the book, or one fourth of the total references found in the New Testament. Someone has said, “If God took the Holy Spirit out of this world, most of what we Christians are doing would go right on—and nobody would know the difference!” Sad, but true.

The power of the Spirit is given to us “according to the riches of His glory” (Eph. 3:16). Christ returned to glory and sent the Spirit from heaven to indwell and empower His people. It is not necessary for us to “work something up.” The power has to be sent down. How marvelous that God does not give the Spirit’s power to us “out of His riches” but “according to”—which is a far greater thing. If I am a billionaire and I give you ten dollars, I have given you out of my riches; but if I give you a million dollars, I have given to you according to my riches. The first is a portion; the second is a proportion.

This power is available for “the inner man.”This means the spiritual part of man where God dwells and works. The inner man of the lost sinner is dead (Eph. 2:1), but it becomes alive when Christ is invited in. The inner man can see (
Psalm 119:18, hear (Matthew 13:9), taste (Psalm 34:8 ), and feel (Acts 17:27); and he must be “exercised” (1 Timothy 4:7–8 ). He also must be cleansed (Psalm 51:7) and fed (Matthew 4:4 (NIV) — Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” ). The outer man is perishing, but the inner man can be renewed spiritually in spite of outward physical decay (2 Corinthians 4:16–18). It is this inner power that makes him succeed.

What does it mean to have the Holy Spirit empower the inner man? It means that our spiritual faculties are controlled by God, and we are exercising them and growing in the Word (
Hebrews 5:12–14 (NIV) — In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. ). It is only when we yield to the Spirit and let Him control the inner man that we succeed in living to the glory of God. This means feeding the inner man the Word of God, praying and worshiping, keeping clean, and exercising the senses by loving obedience.

Depth (v. 17). Paul uses three pictures here to convey this idea of spiritual depth, and the three pictures are hidden in the three verbs: “dwell,” “rooted,” and “grounded.” The verb dwell literally means “to settle down and feel at home.” Certainly Christ was already resident in the hearts of the Ephesians, or else Paul would not have addressed them as “saints” in Ephesians 1:1. What Paul is praying for is a deeper experience between Christ and His people. He yearns for Christ to settle down and feel at home in their hearts—not a surface relationship, but an ever-deepening fellowship.

Abraham’s life is an illustration of this truth. God was going to bless Abraham with a son, so the Lord Himself came down and visited Abraham’s tent, and He brought two angels with Him. They came to the tent, they talked with Abraham, and they even ate a meal with him. They felt very much at home, because Abraham was a man of faith and obedience. But the three guests had another task. They had to investigate the sins of Sodom because God planned to destroy the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. Lot, a believer, was living in Sodom, and God wanted to warn him to get out before the judgment could fall. But the Lord Himself did not go to Sodom. He sent the two angels (Gen. 18–19). The Lord did not feel at home in Lot’s house the way He felt at home in Abraham’s tent.

The verb rooted moves us into the plant world. The tree must get its roots deep into the soil if it is to have both nourishment and stability; and the Christian must have his spiritual roots deep into the love of God.
Psalm 1:1–3 is a perfect description of this word, and Jeremiah 17:5–8 is a good commentary on it. One of the most important questions a Christian can ask himself is, “From what do I draw my nourishment and my stability?” If there is to be power in the Christian life, then there must be depth. The roots must go deeper and deeper into the love of Christ.

Grounded is an architectural term; it refers to the foundations on which we build. In the first two churches I pastored, we were privileged to construct new buildings, and in both projects it seemed we would never get out of the ground. In my second building program, we had to spend several thousand dollars taking soil tests because we were building over an old lake bed. For weeks, the men were laying out and pouring the footings. One day I complained to the architect, and he replied, “Pastor, the most important part of this building is the foundation. If you don’t go deep, you can’t go high.”That sentence has been a sermon to me ever since.

The trials of life test the depth of our experience.
If two roommates in college have a falling out, they may seek new roommates, for after all, living with a roommate is a passing experience. But if a husband and wife, who love each other, have a disagreement, the trial only deepens their love as they seek to solve the problems. The storm that blows reveals the strength of the roots. Jesus told the story about the two builders, one of whom did not go deep enough for his foundation (Matt. 7:24–29). Paul prayed that the believers might have a deeper experience with Christ, because only a deep experience could sustain them during the severe trials of life.

Apprehension (vv. 18–19a). The English words “comprehend” and “apprehend” both stem from the Latin word prehendere which means “to grasp.” We say that a monkey has a “prehensile tail.” That is, its tail is able to grasp a tree limb and hold on. Our word comprehend carries the idea of mentally grasping something; while apprehend suggests laying hold of it for yourself. In other words, it is possible to understand something but not really make it your own. Paul’s concern is that we lay hold of the vast expanses of the love of God. He wants us to live in four dimensions. When God gave the land to Abraham, He told him to “walk through the land in the length of it and in the breadth of it” (Gen. 13:17). Abraham had to step out by faith and claim his inheritance. But we today have an inheritance in four dimensions: breadth, length, depth, and height. God’s fourth dimension is love!

But there is a paradox here. Paul wants us to know personally the love of Christ “which passeth knowledge.” There are dimensions, but they cannot be measured. “The love of Christ which passeth knowledge” parallels “the unsearchable riches of Christ” (Eph. 3:8). We are so rich in Christ that our riches cannot be calculated even with the most sophisticated computer.

Perhaps you saw the cartoon that depicted a man chatting with a boat salesman. In the beautiful showroom were yachts and cabin cruisers that glittered with elegance. In the caption, the salesman is saying to the customer: “Sir, if you have to ask how much they are, they are too expensive for you!”

No Christian ever has to worry about having inadequate spiritual resources to meet the demands of life. If he prays for spiritual strength and spiritual depth, he will be able to apprehend—get his hands on—all the resources of God’s love and grace. “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Phil. 4:13). And what is the result of all of this?

Fullness (v. 19b). It is said that nature abhors a vacuum. This explains why air or water will automatically flow into an empty place. The divine nature abhors a vacuum. God wants us to experience His fullness. “Filled unto all the fullness of God” is the more accurate translation. The means of our fullness is the Holy Spirit (Eph. 5:18), and the measure of our fullness is God Himself (Eph. 4:11–16). It is tragic when Christians use the wrong measurements in examining their own spiritual lives. We like to measure ourselves by the weakest Christians that we know, and then boast, “Well, I’m better than they are.” Paul tells us that the measure is Christ, and that we cannot boast about anything (nor should we). When we have reached His fullness, then we have reached the limit.

In one sense, the Christian is already “made full in Christ” (Col. 2:9–10, where “complete” means “filled full”). Positionally, we are complete in Him, but practically, we enjoy only the grace that we apprehend by faith. The resources are there. All we need do is accept them and enjoy them. Paul will have more to say about this fullness (Eph. 5:18–21), so we will reserve further comment until we reach that section.
The Bible exposition commentary

And that is what we get when we study the Bible--the ability to apprehend all those plentiful resources and power the Lord has given us to live victoriously now. That's also what the Lord's tests are about; teaching us what we have and what we need to work on so we can then access yet more.
 
 
 
 The reason I talked so much about loving God in my last post is because I've never met a Christian yet that said they didn't love God. And yet there are millions of Christians that still lead lives full of fear, anxiety and worry. If they truly loved God, they would also trust Him. If they trusted Him, there would be no worry, fear, stress, etc. Mind you, that was and is also true for me as well.

I've learned in my life with the Lord, that the amount of worry etc in my life, is a very good indicator of just how much I trust Him. And how much I trust Him is a very good indicator of just how well I know Him and how close my relationship with Him really is.


So what do you do if worry and fear is still a big problem for you? You commit to be obedient and begin (or continue) to study His Word and spend time with Him. If you're already studying, then perhaps you should increase the amount of time you spend doing that. The more you study, the closer you'll get to Him so it's up to you how important that is.

For most of us, studying God's Word is something we squeeze into our day wherever we can make it fit.
Actually, a great many don't bother studying it at all. They just read it. But even among those who study it, because our lives are so busy, we tend to limit the amount of time we spend doing so.
When I look back to the time before I became disabled when I was studying His Word and going to work, caring for my husband, children and home like most other people, I generally only spent an hour or two at the most in study, at least on week days. I was blessed however that I also got to study and pray at work so if you include that time you could add another couple of hours too, but that's fairly unusual in our world today. The thing is though, we tend to do things based on what their priority is in our lives. For me, getting to know the Lord who saved me was important and I therefore made that time to study. What I discovered as time went on, was that I wanted to spend more time in study and little by little, I made more time for it by giving up other things. My bible was always near by and I grabbed it whenever I had a spare moment. Other people noticed this too. I know that because when I got hurt, one of the first things my husband would do is bring me my bible once he got me settled onto the couch or into bed. I didn't ask for it, but he knew that I'd want it because he'd seen that I'd always had my nose in it.
There's one other thing I'd like to explain. I know I've also said this a million other times, or at least it seems that way lol, but it's so important it's worth saying again and again. When I say "study" I don't mean to use your own intelligence and judgment to study His Word. What I'm talking about is studying with Him. In other words, as you study, you're constantly talking to Him; asking Him questions about what you're studying, commenting on it to Him, etc. and of course following His lead as He answers those questions. Using commentaries is fine, as long as you remember that humans wrote them and they just might be wrong. Use them to give you ideas and more cross references etc, but most importantly, keep talking to the Lord. Two of my favorite commentaries that I've found to be very good and pretty reliable are: The Bible exposition commentary and The Bible knowledge commentary : An exposition of the scriptures. Other good resources are Bible dictionaries. When you get to where you're ready to study what the words mean in the original languages, those dictionaries are very good too. But that's one of the things I like about the two commentaries I mentioned as they often will give you information about the words in the original language and what they meant.

For starters though, the very best bible study I've ever seen is the one I've been posting I found a treasure of incalculable worth! My Gift to YOU! and will continue to post until we get to the end or Jesus comes for us and I hope and pray that everyone will make the time to take advantage of it and study with us. This study is good for everyone regardless of where they are in their walk. It's great for the newly saved, wonderful for those ready to begin building on the foundation that's been laid, and fantastic for those who are mature, to take them deeper still into the Word. One of the great things this particular study does, is it teaches you "how to study"! It not only teaches you how to study but does it so subtly that you probably don't even realize you're learning that at first. But, by the time we're done with the whole book, the right way to study will be so ingrained in you , that you'll be doing it on your own by then! So, by the time I'm done posting this book, we'll all be ready to take off and fly on our own; able to find the answers and truth to any scripture anywhere in the bible.

Our whole society is into instant gratification. We want what we want and we want it right now and with the least possible amount of effort on our part. That's not how God works though. God's way takes time because He works on us from the inside out, which is also why when He changes us, we are truly changed and it's not something we're doing through any effort of our own.
The thing is, it's not "magic" and it doesn't "just happen" for no apparent reason. God changes us through His Word, so the more we study, the more we will be changed. We pray and pray for God to take away our fears or help us so we won't worry; we pray, "I believe, help my unbelief!" and God wants to help us! But it's like that joke about the guy that prays that God will let him win the lottery and finally God gets frustrated with him and answers saying, "Well at least buy a lottery ticket so I can help you!" God's given us the answer to all those prayers. It's in His Word! All we have to do is pray, ask His help (which most already have) and then open those bibles and start studying!!! That's where people fall down. They don't pick up their bibles and study to get those answers about getting rid of their fear or worry etc. Or if they do, they do it only once in a while for short times not really expecting any help.
NIV Jn 17:1717 Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.

God sanctifies us, (makes us holy; changes us) through His Word and it's those who abide (remain; stay in constantly) in His Word that are changed, and through this show that they are really His disciples.
ESV Jn 8:3131 So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples,

This is why we're commanded to crave His Word the way a baby craves it's milk so that we can grow up in our faith and be able to stand firm and strong and live victoriously.
NIV 1 Pe 2:22 Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation,
It's kind of sad that the Lord has to go to such lengths to convince us to be obedient just so He can help us. I just love what this psalm says about it though:

NIV Ps 119:89–9689 Your word, O Lord, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens. 90 Your faithfulness continues through all generations; you established the earth, and it endures. 91 Your laws endure to this day, for all things serve you. 92 If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction. 93 I will never forget your precepts, for by them you have preserved my life. 94 Save me, for I am yours; I have sought out your precepts. 95 The wicked are waiting to destroy me, but I will ponder your statutes. 96 To all perfection I see a limit; but your commands are boundless.

If you trust God’s Word, you will have a solid foundation in a world that offers you no stability. The Word of God is settled; nothing can change it or destroy it (v. 152; Matt. 24:35). God is faithful and His Word can be trusted. The same Word that created the world (v. 90) and runs the world (v. 91) will also govern your life and make it secure.
With the word Bible commentary

It's really all about getting to know the Lord better and better. Making our relationship with Him closer and deeper every day. Learning to know Him so well that we can trust Him no matter what things "look like" in our lives. Then like Paul we can say we've learned to be content no matter our outward circumstances for we know we are in the palm of God's Hand and through Christ we can do all things.
 
 
 
 
The Lord has pointed out that there's something else I need to add to this. It's implied in all that I've already said, but not stated plainly, and it's about that nasty word, obedience.

None of us like to learn obedience. We didn't like it as children and we especially don't like it as adults, at least I didn't. Our natural abhorrence to it is actually a part of our sin nature. We want to be self sufficient, and we don't want anyone telling us what to do. Just exactly like Satan if you think about it. He didn't want to submit himself to God and be obedient. Yep, there's that other nasty word we generally hate to hear: submit. So this next portion will be about submitting ourselves to God and being obedient to Him.

This for me was a very hard lesson as it affects every single area of our lives. The Lord first showed me that in order to have His peace and in order to have His joy, that I had to submit to Him and be obedient. He would throw things at me that to me sounded totally absurd and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why He'd want me to do them! So of course I questioned Him about them. I'd even put off obeying Him because I'd tell myself that I couldn't be sure it was from Him because it was so crazy. What I was really doing was lying to myself, and making excuses because I didn't want to do it. I knew quite well that it was from Him.

That's when my next lesson came. He taught me then that understanding comes after obedience, not before. Totally opposite of what the world would have us believe, isn't it? Yet it's true. The way I look at it now is that God has us operate on a "need to know" basis and we don't need to know the why's until after we've done as we were told. Why? Because if we knew ahead of time, there would be no test of faith involved. Not knowing the why's means that we have to take a step of faith and do as we're told simply because we were told to and for no other reason at all.

We can see this all through the bible. Think back to Abraham for starters. Remember when God told him to sacrifice his son? Abraham didn't question God. He didn't ask "why would you have me do such a thing??? It's crazy!" Instead, he simply determined to obey God and leave the reasons up to Him. Or how about Joseph? When his brothers threw him in the pit and then sold him as a slave, he didn't question God about it either. He simply accepted his circumstances as being something that God had allowed and knew that one way or another God would work it out how He wanted to. He understood that his job wasn't to ask questions, but was to simply listen for the Lord and be obedient to Him in whatever God told him to do.

If you think about it, it's also very much like any good parent would teach their child. I know I taught mine this way. I wanted my children to obey me without questions because if there was ever an emergency, I didn't want to have to waste time explaining why I wanted them to do something. As a young mother, this was brought home to me one day when my 2 year old started to run out into the street. That's when I knew that I had to make my children obey me instantly, without questions. Answers and explanations could come later if necessary. And that's what God wants with us too.

I was blessed in that this part of my education actually began before I was hurt and was something that my boss who was discipling me helped me learn. The way she taught me was pretty shocking too but I think the shock value is what helped me learn so quickly. She asked me what I did when I got up each morning. I told her truthfully that I got up, got dressed, had my coffee and made some to take with me and left for work. That I usually prayed throughout the half hour it took me to drive to work. Then she asked me how I knew I was supposed to go to work that day. Well, because I had a job and if I didn't, I'd get fired! Duh! (or so I thought lol) She then asked me, "what if God didn't want you to go to work one day because He had something else for you do? How would you even know if you hadn't asked Him what He had for you to do that day?" That certainly got me to thinking! So her assignment was that for the rest of the month I was to ask the Lord when I woke up what He wanted me to do that day and I was to specifically ask Him if I was to go to work.

I think that was one of the hardest assignments I ever had! I was still learning at that time about all this "talking to God" and "hearing from Him", so I wasn't all that accustomed to it yet. Of course she was aware of that, and I know now that was part of the reason she gave me the assignment, so that I could become used to it and comfortable with it. Let me tell you though, that month was probably the most uncomfortable month of my life!

I questioned everything I "heard" from the Lord, especially in the morning! If He told me to go to work, I wondered if I wasn't just hearing that because that's what I expected to hear and so I wouldn't be "sure" it was from Him. Maybe it was just my imagination. If He told me to stay home, oh boy did I question that! How could He say such a thing??? But what if Catherine had planned in advance so she wouldn't need me that day but rather then telling me was expecting me to hear it from Him??? (and yes, she would do something like that LOL) It was just plain torture!!!

But oh boy did I learn! Each day when I'd get to work (on the days I went), we'd have coffee and before prayer time she'd ask me what the Lord had said and we'd discuss it. She'd never come right out and tell me if I'd "gotten it right" but sometimes I'd catch a smile of victory and I'd know lol Then during prayer time we'd pray about what He'd said that morning and about my continuing to hear His voice directing me. On the days when I didn't go, I'd call and let her know of course and that was SO HARD! I'd never, ever, missed work before unless I was so sick I literally couldn't stand up or couldn't leave the bathroom! When I called, we'd go through the same routine of discussing it and then praying. Sometimes though I knew I'd gotten it right because she would let me know that she really hadn't needed me that day as she'd already made other plans. Those days were fantastic confirmation and really helped me see that I really was hearing from Him.

Little by little I got to where I became comfortable with hearing from the Lord, until finally it just became second nature. I don't think I even realized what else she'd taught me for a long time, and that was to remember that my life was no longer my own--it belonged to God to do with as He pleased, not as I pleased. And that lesson was just as important as learning to hear from Him and become comfortable doing so.

During that time, she also made sure that I realized that God usually speaks to us through His Word and made sure I was studying every day too. Some people seem to think that you can be obedient to God and not study His Word or even read it regularly, but that's wrong in so many ways! To start with, He commands us to study His Word, so when we don't do that we're being rebellious. You cannot be obedient and rebellious at the same time. Basically what you're doing then is serving two masters: yourself, and God. And we know what Jesus said about that!

NIV Mt 6:2424 “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other...

I don't think that's ever truer then when the masters you're trying to serve are yourself and God. Basically because we spent our entire lives pleasing ourselves and serving ourselves right up till the moment we were saved. It's very hard to give that up, and yet, that's exactly what the Lord says we have to do. We must serve Him alone. This is really our first step toward obedience. Once we're saved we're to give up our lives to the One who purchased them with His Blood.

NIV
1 Co 6:19–2019 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.


For me, learning to give up my life completely to God is something that I'm still learning. The Lord still finds areas of my life or my heart that I've withheld from Him. Usually it's unintentional, things I simply haven't thought about, and I suspect that this is something we all struggle with throughout our lives once we're saved.

All of this though is related: giving our lives over to God so that we're simply servants (slaves) following orders; obedience and submission.
It reminds me of Jesus Himself when He was here: because the entire time He was here, He emptied Himself to do the will of the Father.

NIV Heb 5:88 Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered

You know, I can remember being taught that the sign of a good leader was that they would never ask anyone to do anything that they themselves hadn't already done. And that's so very true of our Lord! He gave up His life so we could have life and now, once we're saved, He asks us to give up our lives for Him. Just as He submitted to the Father and was obedient (even to death on the cross!) so He asks us to submit ourselves and be obedient to Him.

NIV Jn 15:1010 If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love.

There's so much more I want to explain, but I'm afraid this is already becoming a book so I'll stop for now. (you can all rejoice that I've stopped LOL but think just how much longer this would have been if I hadn't stopped myself from adding a bunch of scriptures for everything I talked about! )

Anger

Sadly many people don't even know they have a problem with anger. I'm sure we've all seen people who obviously had an anger problem but wouldn't admit it. But I'm not talking about people like that. I'm talking about the ways we often disguise anger. Many people have had a problem with anger for many years and don't realize it. Let me list some of the ways we disguise anger:

depression, fear, anxiety, bitterness, resentment,
vengeance, malice, fatigue, various illnesses, headaches, ulcers, etc.

Anger can be caused by losses such as a death, or a lack like thinking you didn't have a good parent or any parent for that matter -like being an orphan.

For instance, after I was saved, I got very angry at my mother who's been dead since I was 20 years old. I was angry because she didn't raise me in a Christian home. She hated God and anything to do with Him. i don't mean I got a little angry...I got REALLY angry! I began blaming everything on my mother thinking that if she'd only raised me right, I wouldn't have had all the problems I did as an adult and I would have raised my children better; I would have done so much more for Him, etc.

The Lord had to remind me that I was really angry with Him :shock: which of course really shocked me! But, as He reminded me, He was the one who gave me to my mother to raise. She didn't choose to have me, even though she may have thought so. Of course i came back with all kinds of
excuses and examples but the Lord had an answer for every one. Then I was very ashamed of myself because I dearly loved my mother and I know for a fact that she loved me more then her own life and would never have knowingly or willingly hurt me. So with the Lord's help, I forgave my mother for not knowing the Lord. Then I felt great pity for her because I know she must have been hurting inside and longing for His love but didn't even know what it was she really needed. If anything, my love for her grew, and I felt a great release from all the anger I'd been holding onto.

Anger can be learned by children simply watching their parents if their parent is angry all the time, or if their parent handles anger wrongly or is the type to get angry over every little thing.

It can be caused by loss of control, fear, or guilt, like when someone is raped, or abused in any way, or forced to do things that they know inside is wrong. For a child, force doesn't mean that a person has to hold a gun to their head, because since children are taught to obey adults, any adult telling them to do something they shouldn't, is forcing them.

Anger can be caused by unfulfilled relationships -like marriage, or a parent/child relationship, or even friendship. (like when I got angry because my friend broke off our relationship) Or it might be a bad, unfulfilling relationship with an employer.

Anger can be caused also from loss of health, such as becoming disabled -something which we're all familiar with here. i know I most certainly got angry when I got hurt. I got angry with God!
I posted about it in the thread called, "My whole life was suddenly gone".


Basically I felt like God had betrayed me because I'd prayed for protection but still wound up in an accident. At first I tried to hide it from myself and of course from God, but that's impossible. The Lord knew how I felt and He made sure that I talked to Him about it. He showed me that first, He did answer my prayer for protection. I could have been killed in that accident, but I wasn't. Next He reminded me that He never promised me that nothing bad would happen to me; instead, He promised me that He would be with me when the bad things happened and that He would cause them all to work out for my good. I think most people that have been through a trauma get angry at God, even if they don't admit it to themselves. It's important for us to talk to Him about it and to recognize the truths that I just shared: that He never promised us that bad things wouldn't happen, that He promises instead that He will be with us when they do to help us get through them and that He will cause them to work out for our good. He most certainly did that for me!

So, let's look over all these "causes" of anger and all the ways that anger can show up in our lives and make sure that if there are any that are still lingering in our minds even a little, that we take them to the Lord and talk to Him about them, and search His Word for His answers ok? We need to be sure that pride, jealousy,
unfulfilled expectations, and things like that aren't the real cause of our anger.

Next, we need to know how to determine if our anger is righteous anger or not. If it's not righteous anger, then it's a sin and even righteous anger can become sinful if we don't handle it correctly.

When trying to figure out if our anger is righteous or not, we need to remember that righteous anger has God's laws and God's Honor as it's focus. Righteous anger focuses on the wrongness of the evil that's been done, not on the destruction of the person doing the evil.


It's kind of funny, but the right way to deal with anger is the way we're always telling the people in apologetics: Attack the problem, not the person, including yourself if you're the one who's sinned. And we're to attack the problem not just so we can blow off steam, but we're to attack it with the idea of wanting to lovingly correct the person and resolve the hurt that's been caused by the sin.

Here are some scriptures about this for you too, so you can study up on it yourself as well, and these are just the tip of the iceberg!

1 Peter 2:23 —When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. *

Ephesians 4:26 —“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, *


Romans 12:17 —Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. *

1 John 2:10–11 —Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. *But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him.

Proverbs 12:16 —A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult. *


Proverbs 29:11 —A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. *


Proverbs 22:24–25 —Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, *or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared. *


Ephesians 4:29 —Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. *


Psalm 4:4 —In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. Selah *


James 1:19 —My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, *


Proverbs 17:14 —Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out. *


Ephesians 4:31–5:2 —Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. *Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. *Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children *and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. *


1 Peter 4:8 —Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. *


1 Corinthians 13:4–7 —Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. *It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. *Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. *It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. *


Ecclesiastes 7:9 —Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools. *


Luke 6:35–36 —But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. *Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. *


Matthew 5:21–26 —“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ *But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell. *“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, *leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. *“Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. *I tell you the truth, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny. *

Matthew 5:38–42 —“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ *But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. *And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. *If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. *Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. *


Matthew 5:43–47 —“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ *But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, *that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. *If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? *And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? *


Matthew 7:3“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? *


Matthew 18:21–22 —Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” *Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. *

Cindy June 6th, 2013 12:49 PM

Re: Anger
 
I think one of the biggest problems we all have is that we are so used to thinking of things like love and anger, or even hate, as "feelings" and what the world taught us, that "you can't do anything about a feeling". Neither of those things are true though, or at least not completely true. (like most of Satan's lies) While those words do describe a "feeling", there must be thoughts before there is a feeling. The thoughts don't have to be current...for instance, we hear about a child being molested and we don't have to think about it before we become angry. That's because those thoughts are already there from the first time we heard about a child being hurt that way. It may have been many years ago, or it may have even been when we were children and we heard our parents talking about it. We heard their thoughts about it and accepted them as our own. From that point on, every time we heard about this, our automatic reaction is anger. In that case there's nothing wrong with that reaction, but with other things it could be very wrong.

We learned to "feel" certain ways about many different things when we were children. Some of them may even be correct, especially if we had godly parents who were actually attempting to teach us the correct way to respond to something. But usually even our parents didn't know what they were doing to themselves, much less that they were teaching us at the same time. We learned from watching them, listening to them, overhearing things they said and noticing things they didn't say. We learned from our friends, our enemies, our teachers, everyone. Of course, we also learned from ourselves as we got older and added our own input to things. All those "thoughts" became our thoughts, and so we automatically react to many things without even thinking about it.

That's why someone can wake up "feeling depressed" even though they haven't had time for a single thought yet. It's why when another person innocently does or says something, we react by believing they're rejecting us. We previously programmed our minds to think that what they did or said, means they're rejecting us, or that they don't like us, even though they're really not, and we don't take time to think it through because "we feel it's true" and we can usually back it up with other similar experiences. Of course, if we're really honest with ourselves, and look at some of those experiences, we're bound to find that at least in some of them, the person probably wasn't really rejecting us, but because we were so sure they were, we never really gave them a chance.

Which brings up another tendency of our sin nature. We love to think that we "know" what another person is thinking or is going to do. We're absolutely "sure" that we know what they'll do or say in the future based on what we've seen in the past, and how we "felt" about it then. What makes this even more difficult is that sometimes we're right, or at least seem to be.

This is the kind of "judgment" that God forbids us to make. He tells us we're to judge righteously, as best we can using spiritual discernment with His help and the tools He gives us in His Word, in order to make decisions for our lives. He especially gives us tools to determine if someone is a false teacher, or to tell if someone is saved or not. But He warns us constantly that only He knows people's hearts. Therefore, we might very well be able to tell from His Word that someone is a false teacher and only teaching because of greed, BUT we cannot tell what's really in their hearts. True, the greed may show, but there may be a deep hurt inside them that we don't know about it and that only God knows about. But, if we're honest with ourselves, we constantly judge other people's hearts, and while we often use their words and deeds against them to do this, we also often use our feelings as well. This is a sin and something the Lord will work with us on to help us overcome it. Because this is so important to learn, I want to show you a few scriptures about it too. That way you can study it yourself when you have the time. I'll post them at the end.

So now you surely realize that our feelings are not always "true". We have known for a long time that the Lord tells us not to trust our feelings and that includes the feeling of anger as well. We have to constantly remind ourselves to take responsibility not only for our actions and words, but also for our thoughts and ultimately our feelings, for our thoughts are what makes our feelings. It's really a shock the first time you discover that the way you react to a certain situation is because of something you overheard your parents say many years ago, and you've built on it since then. It's especially shocking when you discover that what you've built that feeling on all these years was untrue or that the thoughts didn't even really apply to the situation you took them for. :shock:

You already know how to change your thoughts and reprogram your mind, or as the Lord puts it, renew your mind. (through taking your thoughts captive and replacing them with the Truth from God's Word) What we haven't really covered though, is that we also need to examine our feelings so we can take them captive if necessary. But how do we take a feeling captive? You can't really. What we have to do is take the thoughts behind the feeling captive and replace them, knowing that as we continue to do that, our feelings WILL change. Probably not right away, but eventually our feelings will come in line with our new thoughts. Keep in mind that the longer we've held onto wrong thinking, the longer it may take to overcome it with the new, but eventually it will be overcome.

When we have wrong deep rooted feelings from deep and or long held thoughts, we need to persevere and continue doing things God's way even if we don't get immediate results. We have to trust God and His Word that it will change and act on that. When we doubt, we take that captive and remind ourselves that God always keeps His promises and this is one of them.

Why am I harping on this when we're supposed to be talking about anger? Because anger is one "feeling" that we most often misuse and can most often cause us many problems spiritually, emotionally and physically. It doesn't matter if it's anger over how a friend treated us, or an employer, or our parents or a person who sexually abused us. That anger can and often does hurt us a LOT more then the person we're angry at ever could, and I'm including if a person sexually abused us when we were a child. Anger is one of the most dangerous emotions there is and unless we deal with it correctly - God's way, we can harm ourselves and even others we love for many, many years -until we finally start doing things God's way.

So every time you feel angry, or especially if you feel rage or bitterness (which is just anger uncontrolled) you need to see a red flag waving in your mind, reminding you to examine your heart and mind with God's help, to first determine if the anger you're feeling is righteous and next to determine what thoughts are behind it and where they are leading you, because even righteous anger can become sin if not handled properly.

OK, now, as far as anger itself goes, there are 2 ways it can become sinful. The first is obviously in how we handle it - like if we blow up at someone. The second way is if we internalize it - or what we call "clamming up". When we blow up, all that emotional energy is destructively fired at another person, and if we clam up, all that energy is destructively fired at ourselves, though we usually don't realize it. Actually either way, we hurt ourselves and others with it.

I'll have to write more about this tomorrow though as I've already gone on too long...


Luke 6:37“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

John 7:24Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment.” *

Romans 2:1You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. *

1 Kings 8:39
then hear from heaven, your dwelling place. Forgive and act; deal with each man according to all he does, since you know his heart (for you alone know the hearts of all men), *

Jeremiah 17:10“I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve.” *

Cindy June 10th, 2013 01:37 PM

Re: Anger
 
Let's take a quick look at how Jesus dealt with anger, because our Lord did indeed get angry at times. One time we often first think of is when He chased the people selling stuff out of the Temple. How can we tell that was righteous anger? Ask yourself why Jesus did it. What was His motive? He was angry out of concern for God's honor and principals. What made His anger righteous was that He was angry because these people were doing things to God's house that God shows in His Word that He would not like or allow and because of that, they were dishonoring God.

When we see situations like a child being molested, a woman being raped, or someone being murdered,we know from His Word that kind of behavior is wrong and dishonors God and His laws, therefore it's correct to be angry about it.

Think about what some other things would be considered righteous anger. If you saw or heard someone slander another person or slander you, or if someone lied, or if someone stole something from you or someone else, or if someone broke just about any law, because God says we're to obey the laws of our countries. Another would be if someone beat you or someone else or if someone neglected or mistreated you or their children, or their parents or anyone for that matter, or had an affair, or was looking at porn. All of these and many others are all things that we can be righteously angry about.

BUT, that does not give us the right to say or do anything we might feel like about it. It's what we do with that righteous anger that can turn it into a sin. Remember: the right way to deal with anger is to attack the problem, not the person, including yourself if you're the one who's sinned. And we're to attack the problem with the idea of wanting to lovingly correct the person and resolve the hurt that's been caused by the sin.

I'm fairly certain that as soon as everyone read the word "lovingly" in the above sentence, the worlds way of love and tolerance reared up it's ugly heard. That's not the kind of love the Lord means though. Again, let's look at when Jesus got angry at the people selling things in the Temple. He literally threw them out of the Temple after first releasing all the animals. He did not harm anyone though, nor did He harm any of the animals or birds. He was quite firm in His speech and everyone knew He meant exactly what He said and wasn't interested in debating the issue. Another time Jesus got angry was at the Pharisees and again it was because they dishonored and twisted God's Word. Actually, He got angry with them more then once. When He did, He even called them a "brood of vipers". That does not give us permission to call other people names when we're angry at them though. We need to realize that Jesus was not speaking to an individual and calling them a name. He was instead speaking about an institution - the Sanhedrin, and saying that the members in general had become a brood of vipers.

Looking at how Jesus handled His anger helps because first it shows us exactly what righteous anger is about and second it gives us some idea of what an appropriate way to handle it is. First we see that He never physically harmed anyone or anything. Secondly, we see that when He was angry, He used that to teach them, and warn them, not to harm them. Let's look at some of them:

Matthew 12:34–37 —You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. *The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. *But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. *For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” *

Mark 11:15–17 —On reaching Jerusalem, Jesus entered the temple area and began driving out those who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves, *and would not allow anyone to carry merchandise through the temple courts. *And as he taught them, he said, “Is it not written: “ ‘My house will be called a house of prayer for all nations’? But you have made it ‘a den of robbers.’” *

Matthew 23:33–36 —“You snakes! You brood of vipers! How will you escape being condemned to hell? *Therefore I am sending you prophets and wise men and teachers. Some of them you will kill and crucify; others you will flog in your synagogues and pursue from town to town. *And so upon you will come all the righteous blood that has been shed on earth, from the blood of righteous Abel to the blood of Zechariah son of Berekiah, whom you murdered between the temple and the altar. *I tell you the truth, all this will come upon this generation. *

As you can see, in the first 2 He was teaching them and in the last one is definitely warning them.
So, looking at these instances, can you see how Jesus attacked the problem and not the person and that His entire purpose was to reconcile them with the Father and Himself as well as resolve any hurt anyone had been through because of them?

There's another thing we can see from these different examples of when Jesus was angry - He was always in control of Himself and of His feelings. He never let His feelings control Him. That's how God wants us to be, and is also part of taking our thoughts captive, which is why He tells us in Eph. 4:26: ‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. We are to control our emotions and with anger, we're to keep it on a short leash and handle it immediately, not dwell on it and let it grow into a rage. When Jesus got angry at the people selling animals in the temple, He made a whip (He never hit anyone with it though, He just used it for emphasis) and chased everyone out that was selling things, while telling them why He was doing it. He didn't need to go into any lengthy explanation because these people knew their scriptures.

John 2:15–16 —So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple area, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. *To those who sold doves he said, “Get these out of here! How dare you turn my Father’s house into a market!” *

By doing that, He kept Himself under control, resolved the problem which made Him angry, (He got rid of the merchandise and the sellers) and told them why what they were doing was a sin so they could repent and be reconciled with the Father if they chose to. He knew that the Father would judge them righteously and see that they paid for their sin if they didn't repent, and He loved them enough that His biggest desire was that they would repent.

That's the part that's hardest for us. Most of us are like Jonah. (Jonah 4:1–2) We don't really want the person we're angry at to repent, mainly because we think then they won't pay for whatever they did that made us angry. However, that's not really true. While they will be forgiven if they are saved and repent, that doesn't remove the consequences of their sin. Again though, the problem is that generally, we want to be the ones to set the consequences instead of allowing God to handle it. If we think about it though, no one can match God in the expression of fierce wrath if they don't repent, and if they do repent, then who are we to feel badly about that after all the Lord has forgiven us for? These are the things we generally work out with God as we forgive the person. But as far as anger itself goes, the bottom line is that in order for our anger to remain righteous, we must keep our focus off of ourselves (or whoever the wrong was committed against) and keep our focus on God.

This is getting pretty long so I'll pick it up again tomorrow.

Cindy June 12th, 2013 01:33 PM

Re: Anger
 
Why are we told that we're not to let the sun go down on our anger? Have you ever wondered about that? God actually does tell us why. It's because He knows that if we dwell on the anger that it will grow all out of proportion and can easily become bitterness, rage, malice, brawling and all kinds of nasty things, eventually possibly even leading to murder! That's also why we're told in Ephesians 4:31 to Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. The next verse goes on to say what we're to do instead, which is to be compassionate and forgiving.

I know we've talked about how God says we're not to trust our feelings...our emotions, but I'm not sure if I've ever explained why He tells us not to trust them. The reason for it is quite simple and actually goes back to when Adam sinned. Our emotions are tainted by sin. This is also why it's impossible for people to practice Godly love or righteous anger without God's help and growing in their faith. Those who do not have His spirit within them, also have not had His love poured out into their hearts, therefore they can only love the way the world does, not God's way. (yet another reason God doesn't want us to marry unbelievers - He wants the best for us!) Because they don't have God's Spirit or love, they also cannot practice righteous anger and so instead deteriorate into all those things the above verse talked about. That is also why so many get into self pity and develop it into depression. Those thoughts and feelings can then become a habit that can affect them even after they're saved if they don't constantly grow in their faith -which most don't.

Even people who are truly saved can fall into those traps when they stop growing in their faith, stop studying His Word with Him daily, etc. This is a broken world and it's easy to allow ourselves to be caught in it's trap. In fact, the only way out of that trap is through salvation, and then through studying His Word with Him daily, spending time with Him in prayer and growing in our faith and never, ever allowing anything to prevent that. That's not how God wanted it to be, but how it became after Adam's sin, because of our sin nature and the fact that the entire world is under the curse of sin.

Knowing our emotions are tainted by sin, what does that say about our thought life especially before salvation? (since we know from God's Word that it's our thoughts that originally cause our emotions) Again it shows exactly what God's Word says, that our minds - our thought life, is also corrupted by sin and that we cannot know the truth about ourselves or God without His Spirit and His help.

Matthew 15:19 —For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. *

Proverbs 27:19 —As water reflects a face, so a man’s heart reflects the man. *

Romans 8:6 —The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; *

Romans 1:28 —Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. *

When we dwell on our anger rather then act on it righteously or take it captive if it's not righteous anger, then we make it very possible to become full of bitterness, rage, malice and hate. Remember that we're told we cannot have those in our lives and still be walking with the Lord. When we give way to those things, then we are walking in darkness and serving Satan instead of our Lord. Why? Because Jesus tells us that hate is no different then murder, just as lust is no different then adultery, and those are things Satan delights in.

Therefore, when we do get angry, we must first determine if it's righteous anger, and then, if it is, we must do our best to deal with the matter as quickly as possible by directing it at a righteous solution to whatever the problem is about.

We know from how Jesus acted toward the Pharisees in general, that anger can be directed toward evil institutions. Remember, Jesus was friends with individual Pharisees and some of them were saved, but as a whole the institution was corrupted which was what made Him angry. The entire point of His anger was to attempt to correct the situation. That doesn't mean that the person or institution you have a problem with will repent and the problem will be solved, but it means that you will have done your best to deal with it the way God tells us to, and that ultimately God will avenge the situation.

The bottom line is that we are called to use our anger and the energy it produces to attack the problem that's caused our anger constructively instead of attacking ourselves or others. We're to look at the wrong that the other person has done and confront that persons behavior, desiring to correct them and resolve any hurt that's been done - much like when we forgive in order to bring about reconciliation. Righteous anger must be solution oriented. That's really the bottom line of all of it. God tells us that we're to love everyone and live at peace with them as far as it's up to us if they're unbelievers; if they're born again, then we're simply to love them and live at peace with them period. There is no other choice. Obviously we can't do this on our own, anymore then we can forgive everyone on our own, or take our thoughts captive on our own all the time. It's impossible. Therefore we must be living in Christ and accepting His help and guidance to do this.

This is what denying ourselves is all about. It's not about giving up TV or a new car, it's about denying our self centeredness where we tend to think and make everything about us and make ourselves out to be the most important person. But God says we're to do the opposite. He is to be first, then others and we ourselves are to be last. It means letting other people "be right" sometimes, even when you know they're not. (as long as it's not an issue of doctrine as we're not allowed to tolerate any false teaching) It means doing for others, when you're tired and hurting and just wishing someone would do for you once in awhile, and remembering as we do whatever it is, that Jesus will reward us for it. It means giving up our "right" to hate, or our "right" to be angry at times, for His sake and because we know that ultimately God will avenge us for all wrong done to us. It means keeping our focus where it belongs...not on ourselves, but on God and remembering all He has forgiven us for already and that, "there but for the grace of God, I could have done the same".

When I first started down this road, I was a very bitter, angry person who hated men. The Lord softened my heart and of course poured His love into my heart as He does all of us when we are saved, and the bitterness began to lessen. But I still had to go to Him and confess that bitterness, anger and hate, I had in me because of my children being molested. I knew from the scriptures it was spiritual poison and asked Him to rid me of it completely and He did! I was amazed at how new and fresh and clean I felt afterward too! It was amazing! That's why James tells us not to deny it if we have these things inside us (actually all of us do to a certain extent). God wants to heal us of them and remove them, but we first have to admit they're there.

here are some scriptures about this to reflect on.

Ephesians 4:31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. *

Acts 8:23 —
For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin.” *


Hebrews 12:15 —See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. *

James 3:14–16 —
But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. *Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. *For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. *


1 John 2:9–11 —Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. *Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. *But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him. *

Matthew 5:21–22 —“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ *But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell. *

Romans 12:17–21 —
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. *If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. *Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. *On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” *Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. *


Cindy June 13th, 2013 12:17 PM

Re: Anger
 
The most important thing to remember for us is that anytime we have persistent anger toward anyone or anything, it affects our relationship with God. In fact, I saw a quote just the other day that I thought made a really good point. I can't remember it exactly, but will put it in my own words for you: "Our relationships with others, reflects our relationship with God." Now, that doesn't mean that if you have a person or even a few people that you don't have a good relationship with, that it always means you don't have a good relationship with God, but it is wise to examine yourself at that point just to be sure. If you can look at that relationship(s) and know that you've forgiven them, that you act kindly to them whenever you see of speak to them, and that you love them, even though they don't respond the same way toward you, then your relationship with God is most likely just fine; at least as far as this goes. However, if those things aren't true, then there may be a problem within yourself that you need to work out with the Lord's help.

Why is this true: "Our relationships with others, reflects our relationship with God."? Well, remember what the Lord has told us the first two commandments are: to love God and to love others. If we're not walking in love, then we're not walking in Christ. Because unresolved anger is sin, it affects our relationship with God, ourselves, and other people. It can affect our health and lead to things which could even cause our death. Anger will always find expression. One way or another unresolved anger will show itself. I'll post some scriptures about this at the end of my post for you.

I'd like to mention a few ways that the world has taught us to deal with anger that are not godly. So these would be the wrong ways to deal with it:

We've all heard so called "counselors" tell people to "vent" their anger by beating up pillows or things like that, or to just scream and yell. But that is very much against scripture! Proverbs 29:11 (among others) says that "
A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control." God calls us to be godly and righteous, not fools!

I had a counselor encourage me to get angry at my husband. I kept telling them I wasn't angry but they insisted I was. They nagged me and tried to suggest all kinds of reasons I might be angry with him. Finally after many weeks of trying to find something to be angry about with him, I did and I told the counselor. They told me I was to yell and scream and say over and over how angry I was at him and what I'd like to do to him. I was to make up things to do to him because I was angry - the worse the better! They even suggested pretending to kill him! I wasn't saved at this time and didn't know any better so went along with it. after a couple of months, I really WAS angry at my husband, and wound up divorced because of it. That most obviously is NOT God's way of doing things and some of the harm it can cause is obvious from what I've told, but it also caused me to become very bitter and angry at all men eventually. Thankfully when I was saved, the Lord taught me better and gave me a clean heart and new spirit.

Another ungodly response is to clam up when we're angry and not say anything at all. God always wants us to speak the truth in love. Not saying anything at all is one way that often leads to bitterness. The reason for that is because when we don't say anything, we generally tend to dwell on it silently and that is what will cause the bitterness. Obviously the same thing can happen if we continue to "vent" as well, as that too is dwelling on the thing that made us angry.

I'm not saying that we should always, and under all circumstances say something immediately to the person. Remember, we're told not to let the sun go down on our anger. That means handle it as quickly as possible, preferably within the same day it happened. So if we're in circumstance where it's not a good idea to say something right then, we should bring it up as soon as we can afterward.

There are also things that make us angry that we need to cover with love.
1 Peter 4:8Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. * You know, like when I get angry with Bruce when he gets annoyed because I have trouble hearing things and seem to always be asking him to repeat himself. He's aware that I do because we talked about it when it first started happening, (in fact, I couldn't think of anything and asked him for something I get angry about and he thought of this lol) but when it happens now, I put my anger aside by covering it over with love. I realize that Bruce is just reacting and that he doesn't mean anything by it, and certainly doesn't mean to hurt me. Because I love him, I simply overlook it, and definitely never dwell on it.

Another way we often handle anger is by suppressing it and denying it. That isn't godly either because God tells us to admit our sins and repent of them; and as far as anger itself goes, God tells us to deal with it righteously. Denying it is not the righteous way of dealing with it.

One last way that often happens is when we feel we can't tell someone we're angry and then go and take it out on someone else. For example, if you're angry at your boss, but cannot say anything because they aren't born again, and you could lose your job. So you stuff it inside till you get home and then, even without meaning to, wind up taking it out on your spouse or children. Then when we realize it we may yet sin again by telling them we're sorry and that it's because that so and so of a boss did such and such and then start saying bad things about him. But God says we're not to speak badly about others and that we're not to let unkind words come out of our mouths and especially not untrue words.

What's the right way to deal with anger then? We're to face it honestly and admit it to ourselves. We're then to accept the responsibility for dealing with it righteously, according to God's Word. That means thinking it through (with God's help) to determine if it is righteous or not, and then deal with it right away remembering that we're commanded to forgive others the way Jesus forgave us and to cover offenses with love whenever possible.

Often anger come from resentment, so tomorrow we'll take a quick look at that.

Here are the scriptures about all of this:


1 John 2:10–11 —Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. *But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him. *

John 11:10It is when he walks by night that he stumbles, for he has no light.” *

Proverbs 12:16A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult. *

Proverbs 29:11A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. *

Proverbs 22:24–25 —Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, *or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared. *

Job 5:2Resentment kills a fool, and envy slays the simple.

Proverbs 10:12Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs. *

1 Peter 2:1
Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. *

James 1:19My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,

Proverbs 17:14Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out. *

Ecclesiastes 7:9Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools. *

Ephesians 4:26–32 —“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, *and do not give the devil a foothold. *He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need. *Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. *And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. *Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. *Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. *

Cindy June 19th, 2013 12:45 PM

Re: Anger
 
Dealing with Resentment:

Whenever we're feeling resentful of someone or something, the first thing we need to do is recognize that it's a sin. The Lord tells us that we're not to harbor anger or resentment toward anyone. (I believe that I've already posted many of the scriptures about this on other posts) How can we be sure that resentment is a sin? Well, if you think about it, what is resentment really? It's quite simply unforgiveness that's being dwelled on, and both are most definitely a sin! We cannot feel resentful of anyone or anything if we've forgiven them. I covered this in depth in the thread,
Forgiveness and Forgiving or Forgiving and Forgetting, the Lord's way and we'd all probably do well to study this as well.

When it comes to our emotions, our feelings, we often think we can't do something or haven't done it "right" because our feelings haven't changed. For example, with forgiveness, I don't know how many times I've heard people say that they thought they had forgiven someone but because they still feel hurt about it, they think they must not have done it right and will have to do it again. That's simply not true though. All we need to do is use common sense to figure it out though. When I was working, there were many, many mornings when I didn't feel like getting out of bed to go to work. In fact, most mornings I felt that way. I bet most everyone else has felt the same way about that too. Yet I also bet that every single one of us got up and went to work anyway, didn't we? I know for myself, that even when I first got to work, if I thought about it, my feelings were still the same. I would have much rather still been in bed! In spite of my feelings though, I did my job. You did too, didn't you? So you can see that we often do things that our feelings say we don't want to, can't, or shouldn't do. It's the same way with forgiveness and anger and resentment. No matter what our feelings say, no matter how angry or resentful we feel, we can forgive. If it was impossible, then God wouldn't have commanded us to do so.

So what do we do? First, as I said, we recognize that resentment is a sin, and it means we're dwelling on hateful thoughts about the person or situation. It means too that we haven't trusted God to handle the situation justly. It also means that we haven't taken captive the angry and resentful thoughts about that person and replaced them with God's Truth about how we're to feel and act toward them
. (you can learn more about God's command to do that in the thread: Taking Thoughts Captive)

Once we recognize it's a sin, we confess it and it will always help if we ask the Lord to soften our hearts toward the person or situation as well. Doing that will actually help us in our next step, for the next thing we need to do is find God's answer to our resentment. I think you probably already know what His answer is though... it's "mercy". Mercy like He showed and continues to show us.

The next step is obvious from there, for if we're being merciful, we will then forgive the person for what they've done. Again, the thread about forgiveness will explain more about that.
The next step only applies if the person you've been holding a grudge against is aware of it or not. If they are aware that you've been holding a grudge against them, then you need to go and speak to them face to face (if possible) and ask their forgiveness for your sin against them.

Lastly, we need to also act on the mercy and forgiveness we've given them, but doing things for them. Remember that God's goal is always reconciliation with a brother or sister in Christ, so you may want to invite them to come over to visit or to a bible study; or you might take them over some cookies or a casserole, or invite them to dinner.

God's answer to resentment is, as usual, totally different then the world's. He wants us to focus on imitating the attitude of Christ and like Jesus, have the healing of the one that's resented as our goal, knowing that God will, at the same time be healing us. I've also found that it's always helpful to ask the Lord to not only soften your heart toward the person but to give you a heart of compassion for them. God's goal, His Will for us, is always the same. He is conforming us to the image of His Son through every single relationship we have, every encounter, every situation. Our choice each day, sometimes each moment, is to cooperate with Him or not. For me, not cooperating isn't an option, as I really want to please Him, and I also want to avoid discipline whenever possible. That's really a clue though about what makes it possible and even easy, to change our whole attitude toward the person. We're changing our attitude, our thoughts, and even our feelings (eventually) because of the love we have for our Lord! So the focus is more on our love for the Lord as far as our reasons for doing so goes. And the closer we are to Him, the more we love Him, the easier it becomes to forgive others and love them too, for His sake.

One other thing to take into consideration about resentment, is that it paves the way for bitterness and that is something we all want to avoid, at least I hope we do! For the Lord tells us that bitterness is like a poison that infects us and then spreads through all our relationships, including our relationship with Him. Resentment, especially if it turns to bitterness, hurts us far more then anything any human could ever do to us. Again, I've posted some scriptures about this here at the end.

Mark 11:25And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” *

Luke 17:4If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.”

1 Peter 4:8Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. *

Proverbs 10:12Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs. *

Ephesians 4:32
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. *


Ephesians 5:1–2 —Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children *and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. *

Luke 6:35–36 —But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. *Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. *

Matthew 5:23–24 —“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, *leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. *

Acts 8:23 —For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin.” *

Hebrews 12:15 —See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

James 3:14–16 —But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. *Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. *For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. *

Cindy August 20th, 2013 07:51 AM

Re: Anger
 
GODLY ANGER VERSUS SELFISH ANGER

“[Love] is not provoked” (1 Cor. 13:5).

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Self-centered anger cannot coexist with love.

The great eighteenth-century preacher and theologian Jonathan Edwards had a daughter with an uncontrollable temper. When a young man asked Dr. Edwards for his daughter’s hand in marriage, he said no. The young man was crushed. “But I love her, and she loves me,” he pleaded. “That makes no difference,” Edwards replied; “she isn’t worthy of you.” “But she is a Christian, isn’t she?” the young man argued. “Yes,” said Edwards, “but the grace of God can live with some people with whom no one else could ever live.”

That may seem harsh, but Jonathan Edwards knew what his would-be son-in-law hadn’t yet learned: the presence of selfish anger indicates the absence of genuine love. “Love,” said Paul, “is not provoked.” It isn’t given to sudden outbursts of emotion or action. It doesn’t respond in anger to offenses committed against it.

Paul wasn’t talking about anger over sin and its terrible consequences. That’s righteous indignation, which Christians are expected to have. When Jesus drove the merchants and moneychangers out of the Temple (John 2:14–15), He was genuinely angry because His Father’s house was being desecrated. But He never reacted that way when He was personally attacked or maligned. In the same way, it’s right for you to be angry when others are mistreated, when God is offended, or when His Word is misrepresented. But love always bears up under personal attacks.
Such graciousness is foreign to our society, which teaches us to fight for our personal rights and to retaliate when we don’t get what we think we deserve. That has produced greedy and loveless people who want little more than personal success and comfort. Anyone who dares to stand in their way is in danger of incurring their wrath.

As a Christian, you must resist such influences by focusing on your spiritual duty rather than on your rights. If you expect nothing from the world, you won’t be angered or disappointed when nothing comes. Remember, God is the giver of every good and perfect gift (James 1:17). So humble yourself before Him, and He will exalt you at the proper time (James 4:10).

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Suggestions for Prayer: Ask God for the grace to forgive those who wrong you.

For Further Study: According to Ephesians 4:26–27, how should you deal with anger?

Ephesians 4:26–27 —“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, *and do not give the devil a foothold. *

MacArthur, J. F., Jr. (1993). Drawing Near—Daily Readings for a Deeper Faith