I now know for absolute sure that the only chance I have of preventing the pain and being comfortable, is if I keep myself totally stress free. This is going to be a very interesting experiment for the next few months because although we can control our reactions and emotions, we can't control what happens to us. What the Lord showed me was that both can cause the flare ups and or just extra pain. We can't change it when we or a loved one has money problems, gets sick or dies, loses their job, or what the government does, etc. The only thing we can control is how we react to them, our emotions and feelings. I was thinking that since we can't control what happens, and that by itself is stress, then it was a lost cause, but I realize now that it's really not!
If I can really do what Paul did, (be content in any circumstances) and be strong enough in my faith, then I'll no longer have to even consider how I respond to events in my life. Before, I always looked at it as though the circumstance happened, Paul saw it and dealt with it by being content. But that's not it, that's only half of it. Paul's saying he's already content and he stays content even when the "event" happens. So while I was being content, then interrupted by the event and then going back to being content, I was opening myself up to these flare ups. See what I mean? The problem was/is that although I know that God is sovereign, that He loves me and that all will work out for my good, there's always a part of me that has reacted to "bad" things by thinking, "yeah, but I don't like what He's allowing to happen." With the next thoughts generally being along the lines of "is He mad at me, have I done something wrong, etc.". All of which I know is bologna, and although they're no longer generally conscious thoughts, I can tell they're still there subconsciously. That tells me that somewhere deep inside, I'm doubting His love and goodness.
Taking my thoughts and feelings afterward is certainly the scriptural remedy, but it looks like the Lord is taking me beyond that now and wants me to get down to the root of it all. He's asking me to really trust Him - with ALL my heart, mind, and strength, and not just part of it. 95% isn't enough. It's got to be 100%.
When I can do that, then life will be like it was when I was a small child. I didn't worry about if the lights would turn on when I flicked a switch, or if there's be something to eat when I was hungry, or if my parents would be there tomorrow, or how I would get to grandma's house that week. I knew my parents had it all under control and it simply never occurred to me to worry about anything. Well, unless it was a selfish thing like which flavor of ice cream we had. I knew the ice cream would be there, but would it be the kind I wanted that day?
I wish I could say I didn't have that problem anymore, but I do, so that's another thing I'll have to continue to work on too. But, back then, if the lights didn't come on, I figured my parents planned it that way and it was a great adventure, a new game. I didn't see it as a bad thing. I knew everything would be fine no matter what happened. Of course as I grew up, I learned differently, that my parents weren't in control of everything and bad things did happen. We all learn that. That's the part I have to overcome now though, and go back to being that simple little child that totally trusts my Daddy. Nothing "bad" is going to happen to me, because He simply won't allow it to. Therefore, anything that does happen, isn't really bad, regardless of what it looks like to the world. Kind of a combination of living by faith and not by sight, and being like a little child. When I can really do that, then nothing will be able to shake me. Of course I can't possibly do it on my own, so I'll have to ask the Lord to help me. Thankfully, as He said, His strength is made perfect in my weakness, so I know that together we can pull it off!
2 Corinthians 5:7–8 —We live by faith, not by sight. *We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. *
2 Corinthians 12:9 —But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. *
Mark 10:15 —I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” *
Matthew 19:14 —Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” *
No comments:
Post a Comment
Please comment so we can grow in faith together and edify each other.
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.