Encouragement In Difficult Times 2

I have learned yet more about my body recently. I'd started to let stuff get to me the other day, so Tuesday night I asked Bruce to take over the cooking for me for a few days at least. I could tell that I needed to really concentrate on resting in order to prevent a bad flare up from the RA/Sjögren's. Well, I was a day late and a dollar short as the saying goes. By the time I woke up yesterday it had hit with a vengeance. Of course that made me feel even more down and the worse I felt mentally/emotionally, the worse the pain got. It was like I was getting a crash course on seeing exactly how my body reacted to stress and my emotions. So I spent a lot of time with the Lord and that calmed me down, but the damage was already done. I'll have to just deal with this flare up, but I've learned a lot from what the Lord showed me concerning it.

I now know for absolute sure that the only chance I have of preventing the pain and being comfortable, is if I keep myself totally stress free. This is going to be a very interesting experiment for the next few months because although we can control our reactions and emotions, we can't control what happens to us. What the Lord showed me was that both can cause the flare ups and or just extra pain. We can't change it when we or a loved one has money problems, gets sick or dies, loses their job, or what the government does, etc. The only thing we can control is how we react to them, our emotions and feelings. I was thinking that since we can't control what happens, and that by itself is stress, then it was a lost cause, but I realize now that it's really not!

If I can really do what Paul did, (be content in any circumstances) and be strong enough in my faith, then I'll no longer have to even consider how I respond to events in my life. Before, I always looked at it as though the circumstance happened, Paul saw it and dealt with it by being content. But that's not it, that's only half of it. Paul's saying he's already content and he stays content even when the "event" happens. So while I was being content, then interrupted by the event and then going back to being content, I was opening myself up to these flare ups. See what I mean? The problem was/is that although I know that God is sovereign, that He loves me and that all will work out for my good, there's always a part of me that has reacted to "bad" things by thinking, "yeah, but I don't like what He's allowing to happen." With the next thoughts generally being along the lines of "is He mad at me, have I done something wrong, etc.". All of which I know is bologna, and although they're no longer generally conscious thoughts, I can tell they're still there subconsciously. That tells me that somewhere deep inside, I'm doubting His love and goodness.

Taking my thoughts and feelings afterward is certainly the scriptural remedy, but it looks like the Lord is taking me beyond that now and wants me to get down to the root of it all. He's asking me to really trust Him - with ALL my heart, mind, and strength, and not just part of it. 95% isn't enough. It's got to be 100%.

When I can do that, then life will be like it was when I was a small child. I didn't worry about if the lights would turn on when I flicked a switch, or if there's be something to eat when I was hungry, or if my parents would be there tomorrow, or how I would get to grandma's house that week. I knew my parents had it all under control and it simply never occurred to me to worry about anything. Well, unless it was a selfish thing like which flavor of ice cream we had. I knew the ice cream would be there, but would it be the kind I wanted that day?  I wish I could say I didn't have that problem anymore, but I do, so that's another thing I'll have to continue to work on too. But, back then, if the lights didn't come on, I figured my parents planned it that way and it was a great adventure, a new game. I didn't see it as a bad thing. I knew everything would be fine no matter what happened.

Of course as I grew up, I learned differently, that my parents weren't in control of everything and bad things did happen. We all learn that. That's the part I have to overcome now though, and go back to being that simple little child that totally trusts my Daddy. Nothing "bad" is going to happen to me, because He simply won't allow it to. Therefore, anything that does happen, isn't really bad, regardless of what it looks like to the world. Kind of a combination of living by faith and not by sight, and being like a little child. When I can really do that, then nothing will be able to shake me. Of course I can't possibly do it on my own, so I'll have to ask the Lord to help me. Thankfully, as He said, His strength is made perfect in my weakness, so I know that together we can pull it off!

The Lord helped me absorb this all even more yesterday because my daughter called me and needed encouragement as her husband lost his job recently, which is pretty scary for them. She told me He'd given her the scripture that "His grace is sufficient for her for His power is made perfect in her weakness", (2 Cor 12:9) which helped, but as she put it, it's still so hard.... She said she didn't see why it was hard because she knew she trusted Him. Which is of course exactly what the Lord's been teaching me about. So I was able to share a story with her that the Lord brought to my mind, that helped us both.

I told her a made up story about this very famous guy who did a high wire act. Anyway, he was going to walk across someplace like the grand canyon, and there was a huge crowd there to watch him do it. Everyone was all excited. He kept yelling to them asking them if they really believed he could do it and they kept yelling back that they did. After all he'd done similar walks and I think he may have even walked across the grand canyon once before too. So they were all sure he'd make it across just fine. Finally, he asks them if they think he could do it pushing a wheel barrow in front of him and again they start yelling, "Yes!" He kept asking if they really believed and they insisted once again that they did. Then came the real question.... He told them if they were positive that he could do it, then which of them would sit in the wheel barrow while he pushed it across? There was dead silence.

That's just how we are with the Lord. Yes, we believe, and we trust Him, we really do. But, when it comes time for us to actually climb into that wheel barrow, we start to have doubts. We start to question. We start to fear and think, what if He can't do it? It's downright scary to be in that wheelbarrow! Which is of course, why the Lord gives us each wheelbarrow times in our lives. To help us see just how far our trust in Him goes. And not just to find out how far it goes, but to help us grow in our faith and trust in Him.

We have to get to the other side and the only way across is to get into that wheelbarrow, so sooner or later, we've got to climb in. Often, the first few times we have to do this, we make all kinds of trouble for Him, trying to jump out, rocking the wheelbarrow, etc, with all our doubts and fears. But He's very patient and thankfully in control, and keeps us safe so that eventually we do get to the other side. Sometimes, we're so relieved to have gotten to the other side, we even forget how we got there and just hug the ground not wanting to ever get up again lol. Again though, eventually we realize that it was the Lord who brought us to the other side and that He got us there safely in spite of ourselves.

You'd think that would make the next time easier wouldn't you? For some reason though, we get so comfortable walking on the firm ground with Him, that each time we have to cross over an area in the wheelbarrow, we're taken by surprise, and up pops all our doubts and fears again. Or so it seems anyway. As we begin to understand what's happening consciously though, we find that this trip helps us do away with our questions, doubts and fears. We find then that each trip really is easier then the one before and our faith does in fact grow. I don't know if we ever get to the place where knowing we have to climb into the wheelbarrow again doesn't bother us, as I haven't gotten there yet myself.

But I am finding myself feeling MUCH more secure now that I understand what's going on. I was able to look at my situation and see it with the mind of Christ instead of with my corrupted mind, and realize that the Lord who loves me dearly is the one that's in complete control of the wheelbarrow. so I have nothing at all to fear. He sustains everything with His powerful Word, including me, so no matter how scary things look to me, I know that He will take me all the way across this trial to the other side of it and that I'll be completely safe the entire time. No harm will come to me.

I think I'm going to try and just enjoy the ride this time instead of squeezing my eyes closed, screaming, and throwing tantrums like I usually do.

2 Corinthians 5:7–8 —We live by faith, not by sight. *We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.
2 Corinthians 12:9 —But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. *
Mark 10:15 —I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” *
Matthew 19:14 —Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” *
2 Corinthians 5:7–8 —We live by faith, not by sight. *