How, Why & When do we judge others?

How, Why & When do we judge others?

The Most Misused and Abused Verses in the Bible today are Matthew 7:1 —“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. * and Luke 6:37 —“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. * You hear and see them constantly, both in "real life" and on line. People use them as little defensive shields to tell others that it's perfectly ok for them to sin and no one had better say anything about it to them.

But by using those verses for that, they show their own ignorance because that's not at all what Jesus was saying.

Usually when someone quotes the verse about not judging, it's because they're being held accountable for teaching false doctrine and don't want to hear it; or sometimes because they're treating others badly and when they're told that, they don't want to hear it so they quote that verse. Or they're living in sin and don't want to be held accountable for it like the Bible tells us to, so they quote that verse. I rarely hear it quoted in context...very, very rarely. It's almost always taken completely out of context.

Matthew 7:1–6 & Luke 6:41–42 are not teaching that we shouldn't judge at all. In fact the Lord tells us that we are to judge both ourselves and others. We can't very well be discerning like we're told to be if we don't judge others, nor can we determine who needs to be saved, rebuked, corrected, taught or anything else if we don't judge others. In John, Jesus tells us to stop judging people by their appearances and make right judgments, and in many other places He tells us how to judge, which is what the verses in Matthew and Luke do. They're not saying not to judge at all, but are telling us how to judge. We are not to be hypocrites or think we're better then others and we're not to judge others about trivial matters, in other words, be nit pickers.

God says we’re to judge righteously and not to judge another person’s heart as only He can see what’s in someone’s heart. He tells He will judge everyone and everything in His time, so we’re not to do so. But, we are to judge people’s actions and words to determine if they’re behavior or words are righteous or sinful, truth or lies. Why are we to do that though? So we can put down that person? So we can gossip about them, berate them? So we can say how wonderful they are? No!

There are several reasons we’re to judge others:

1. We’re to judge things like that to determine if it’s something we should do or say and why.

2. We’re to judge it to determine if the person is already saved or not; to the best of our ability using what the Lord showed us about seeing fruit in someone’s life. We’re to do this so that we’ll know if we need to tell that person about the gospel, or if we think they’re already saved, so we’ll know they’re our brother or sister in Christ.

3. We’re to judge so that we’ll know if they’re someone we should be hanging around with, as the Lord tells us that bad character corrupts good morals.

4. We’re to judge them so we can determine what kind of response the Lord would have us make toward them or what they’ve done or said. The Lord tells us that for both unbelievers, and believers, (even enemies) we’re to pray for them, so we need to listen and judge so we know how to pray. He tells us that as far as it depends on us, we’re to live in peace with all others. If we don’t pay attention and judge, we can’t do that.

5. We’re to judge others to determine if they’re teaching heresy and are false teachers, or if they’re simply mistaken about something and are scriptural teachers. We’re to judge this not so we can put them down or call them names, but in order to talk to them and show them their error(s) so they can repent. If they choose not to, then we need to be ready to disassociate with them. We’re also told to do this so we can warn fellow believers from listening to their teachings as it’s not scriptural. Again, this doesn’t include attacking the person, but simply telling other believers they’re false teachers and need to be avoided.

This last one needs to be broken down more though because some false teachers aren’t even saved and never have been, and other believers need to be warned about wolves in sheep’s clothing. Which brings us to whether or not we can determine if another person is actually saved or not. The simple answer is, No, we can’t. Not for sure anyway, because we can’t know what’s really in another person’s heart. But at the same time, the Lord tells us that it’s important for us to make this judgment call for our own good and that of the rest of the body of Christ. So what we have to do in this case is use the discernment the Lord gives to those mature in their faith.

We have to remember that the purpose of our judgment is to protect the body of Christ from false teaching, by either bringing the false teacher to repentance and reconciling with them or separating from them in obedience to God. We should be careful to not say that another person is definitely not saved, but rather that it appears that they’re not saved, and we should be able to give definite scriptural reasons why it appears that way. It should never be left up to “feelings”.

The goal, even with this last one is always to bring the person into a close relationship with the Lord, either for the first time or to be reconciled with Him, as well as protection for the body of Christ.

That’s what the Lord tells us about all relationships. Our goal should always be reconciliation, first with the Lord and then including ourselves. Unbelievers are to be shown the love of the Lord, and told about Him. Believers are of course also to be shown the love of the Lord. We talk about “the love of the Lord” a lot and yet few of us show it. That’s because the way the Lord loves us is totally unselfish. He never put Himself before us, He always did the opposite. He put our needs and desires ahead of His own, to the point of laying down His life for us when we still hated Him and were His enemies; and that’s exactly the kind of love He expects us to show all others.

That kind of love includes forgiving the way He forgives us. That means promising not to ever bring up the incident to the person, to others, or even to ourselves ever again. Whenever we do bring it up, even to ourselves, it’s sin against the Lord. The Lord, “remembers our sins no more, when we repent and confess them, and so we’re to do for others too. The Lord doesn’t tolerate sin, but He totally and freely forgives it when we repent and that’s the pattern He tells us to follow, and even gives us specific directions as to how to do it.

Loving others includes putting them before ourselves, just as the Lord did for us. It means giving up our right to be “right”, even when we know they’re wrong, and allowing them to have the last say and think they’re right, for the sake of love, peace and unity. (I’m not speaking about doctrine here, but just life situations)

The world tells us that we’re to take care of ourselves first, but God says No. He says we’re to take care of others before ourselves, all the time, not sometimes, and trust Him to take care of us.

Loving others includes giving to others sacrificially. Giving of ourselves, our time, our attention, our material goods, money, or whatever they need. Not just that however, though that’s hard enough. It means giving those things sacrificially. Going above and beyond the call of duty. If we have three apples, giving at least two of them, or even all three away when the need arises, and trusting God to supply our needs. Or to put it in a way that gets all of our attention, if we have only $20 to our name and we hear of someone who needs it, we’re to give them our $20, knowing the Lord will take care of us. That’s the kind of love the Lord wants us to show others.

Are we to supply drugs or alcohol to addicts? Of course not! But we are to give them love, shelter, food, etc. Should we give them money? Probably not. Instead, pay their bills, buy them food, take them out to eat, things like that so that you know their needs are truly being met. Are we to harangue them for their addiction? No! God didn’t do that to us did He? Instead He loved us, cared for our needs, and told us of our greatest need which was for Him.

Are we to only help them if they meet our desire for them to get help in rehab? Again, no! That’s not how the Lord treated us. He died for us when we hated Him. He didn’t wait until we’d agreed we needed help! Should we charge them for our help? Did the Lord charge us? No, He paid it all. But then who will help us pay our bills? The Lord will provide for us.

Does that mean we should support others who are physically able to work, but refuse to do so? No, the Lord said that if we don't work, we don't eat. However, if someone is ill, or disabled, then yes, they need our support. Or if they've just been laid off, are in between jobs, as long as they're looking and trying, then we should help them. We should treat them the way we would want to be treated, and we cannot be the judge of whether or not they are “trying” hard enough.  We are to take their word for it. 

What about if we think someone is lying about something? What if someone says they've repented of a sin, but they keep doing it? What if we think someone isn't trying, but they say they are? What does the Lord tell us to do then? His Word says we're to take them at their word, regardless of our "feelings". We're to treat them as though they're telling us the truth, unless a time comes that something absolutely proves that they've been lying. That's the whole thing with not judging someone's heart again. We can't know for sure what's in another person's heart. Only the Lord can know that for sure. It's in these kind of situations that the Lord says not to judge things before their time, to leave it up to Him to judge them, and in the mean time to assume they're speaking the truth. They will get what they have coming to them if they've been lying, for the Lord will see to it. We don't have to. But what if that means that they've been taking advantage of us all that time and we've wasted all that effort? God says that nothing we've done will have been wasted. Not one little bit of it. We may not understand or see why it was necessary, but we don't have to. All we have to do is obey.

Perhaps the Lord will use all we've done to plant seeds in that person, or in other people, or both. Perhaps He will use it to grow our faith, (hopefully He will!) or perhaps He will use it to show other believers what it looks like to be a real Christian in this type of situation. There are many different ways the Lord can and does use things, ways we can't even imagine. What we can know for sure though is that nothing we do will go to waste and that it will ultimately result in God's glory and our good. You just can't ask for anything better then that!

If we could just remember that we represent Jesus to everyone we come in contact with every day...our family members, our friends, our neighbors, co-workers, boss, people on the street, the mailman, other drivers on the road, people in the stores we go in, the restaurants we eat at, the places we go for fun. Those are the people the Lord has put in our lives for us to reach. Some of them we'll never even speak to, but they'll see us, they'll see our actions, and our actions as well as our words should give others a true picture of our Lord. They should show others His sacrificial love and forgiveness.

That doesn't mean we should never get angry, even our Lord got angry. What it means is that our anger should be righteous anger, not selfish anger. That's why we're told in our anger, not to sin. The purpose of righteous anger isn't to hurt or embarrass someone, it's to fix the problem, to once again bring about reconciliation. Righteous anger has the focus of solving the problem, not getting even or showing how wrong the other person was. Sometimes, that may even include the law being involved when a law has been broken. It's really all about what's in our hearts at the time that interests the Lord. Righteous anger becomes angry at the things that anger God, not just ourselves. How often did our Lord become “angry” when someone or even a whole group of people reviled Him, made fun of Him, called Him names, or even tried to run Him out of town? Not even once. But He did get angry when He saw what people were doing to His Father’s House, and He put a stop to it. That’s the difference between righteous anger and selfish anger.

Obviously there are many reasons we must judge others, but ultimately no matter what we determine about them, the bottom line is that we’re to love them the way the Lord loves us. That’s not easy. In fact, unless we rely on God, we simply can’t do it at all. But that’s ok, because the Lord wants us to be weak and to rely on Him, so we have nothing to worry about. Let’s be the people the Lord wants us to be and begin loving others as He told us to, so we’ll be recognized as His disciples!

“Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.”” (John 7:24)

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” (1 Cor 10:31)

“We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.” (2 Cor 5:20)

“By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”” (John 13:35)

“If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.” (John 15:10–14)

“Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!” (James 2:12–13)

““Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” (Luke 6:37)

Ezra is all about today too!

Boy, for such a short book, the Lord sure packs a whole lot into Ezra! I've learned so much studying it, and got so involved today, especially knowing I was close to the end, that I just couldn't stop. It really hits home hard though, especially considering what's going on in our day. It's like it was written just for our time. (which of course it was, but it was also written for all believers in all times lol)

Ezra brings the second group of people back to Jerusalem from Babylon, and once they arrive, he discovers that the people who came back in the first wave, have already broken the covenant with God! Worse, they broke it for one of the very same sins that they'd been sent into exile for! Of course that really shook him up, as it should have. Seeing him so shaken by the news, caused others to realize just how awful this sin was and they too became heart sick about it.

What really got to me about this though, is the sin itself, because it's something that happens all the time. The Jew's had once again intermarried with the pagans around them and had even had children with their new wives. Remember, God had specifically forbidden them from any intermarriage with anyone who didn't also worship Him and obey His law. It wasn't about race, or anything else, it was about Him. They were free to marry anyone of another race or culture as long as that person had totally and wholeheartedly committed themselves to Him first. But these folks hadn't done that. They'd married pagan women who still worshiped their pagan gods. Even some of the priests had done this and God's laws for who they could marry were even stricter, in order to keep them pure in their devotion to Him.

I can't even imagine being in Ezra's shoes at that point. He was the leader and he was going to have to confront them with their sin. It's horrible to have to tell someone you care about that they're sinning against God, because the vast majority of people haven't grown to a point where they can simply accept rebuke or correction, no matter how gently done, without getting really angry and going off in a huff, adding more sin to the one they were being rebuked about. I absolutely dread it when the Lord lets me know that it's something I need to do and tend to put it off as long as humanly possible, hoping to get out of it I suppose.

Poor Ezra had to tell the entire community though. Maybe because they saw how heartbroken and upset he was about it, or maybe the Lord sent His Spirit into their hearts to convict them, but for some reason the people actually supported what Ezra said. Well, all but 4 of them did anyway. That just goes to show us though that there's always bound to be some who won't want to hear what God thinks about something, especially if it means they have to change.

The vast majority though, confessed their sin and repented of it by divorcing their foreign wives and sending them and the children by them away. (I'm sure they provided for them financially first though)

Considering how much sin is going on freely in the Church these days though, can you imagine what would happen if a godly man were to stand up among any congregation and confront them about this sin? Because the Lord also tells us not to become yoked together with unbelievers and it's for one of the same reasons We take it as a suggestion, but it's not. It's a commandment, and it's one I broke just like so many others have. So please don't think I'm being "holier then thou" when I speak about this.

Today if that happened, the man wouldn't tell us to divorce our spouse though, because unlike the Israelites at that time, Jesus has already been born, so there's no longer any danger of the messianic line being corrupted. Plus, the Lord made it clear through Paul that if a believer was married to an unbeliever that they were to stay together unless the unbeliever wanted out of the marriage. Of course that only applied to someone who became a believer after the marriage, not before it. Now however, we don't have a covenant as a nation with God, instead we have a new covenant. The sin is just as serious, just as ugly as it was then, as God is the same, yesterday, today and always. However, we have forgiveness when we confess our sins and repent of them. (I'll get into what happens if we're married to an unbeliever later)

When I think of someone standing up in a church today and confronting the people about being married to unbelievers, I see total bedlam! Yelling and swearing, and telling the man to get out because he shouldn't be judging them....etc. and once they'd thrown him out, they'd all sit around feeling very self righteous and congratulating themselves and each other for not allowing some outsider to ruin their nice little church. Their pastor would probably even be leading them in this. There might be 3 or 4 people that would have slid to their knees in repentance and sorrow over bringing dishonor to God by their sin, and determining to obey His Word, but the vast majority today, I think would react in the way I just described. That's the total opposite of what happened in Ezra's time., but that's how sick the church has become for the most part.

On the other hand, what if that man confronting them had wound up in a church like Leigh's? (It really sounds awesome!) In that kind of church, maybe it would turn out like it did in Ezra's time, with the vast majority humbling themselves before God, repenting of their sin and determining to obey His Word from then on with the Lord's help. I get very excited just thinking of what kind of awesome things the Lord could do with a people like that! There's be no end to the possibilities! It's one of the reasons I can't wait for Heaven and even the Millennial Kingdom, because we'll finally be able to see what God can do with people who are wholly devoted to Him.

Now days though, it's rare to hear someone take responsibility for their sin, or having the understanding that all sin is against God, regardless of what person has been hurt by it. Even more rare is to hear anything about how ugly and nasty even what we might consider the smallest sin is. We've allowed the world to so completely desensitized us to sin, that we don't see it anywhere near what it really is. If we did, we'd react the way Ezra did every single day. We'd be heartbroken and sobbing over our sin. It would be totally abhorrent to us! We'd do what His Word says and ask Him to help us search our hearts daily to find any sin so we could be rid of the filth of it. We'd welcome anyone as friend who told us of a sin because then we could be rid of it's filth, so we'd be thankful to them instead of angry at them for finding us out.

Instead though, we tend to do what comes naturally to our sin nature. We blame other people, our leaders, our parents, our kids, our bosses, the president, our pastor, and anyone we can think of for why we've sinned. (as though that somehow takes the blame off us). We make all kinds of excuses for our sin too. We'll sometimes even suggest that it really isn't all that bad, because after all, it's not like we murdered someone. We'll tell the messenger that they're being self righteous, a goody two shoes, or that they're acting "holier then thou" by telling us about our sin, instead of being thankful and repenting. We'll look for ways to prove them wrong, even if it means changing the subject and telling them about some sin of theirs that we've suddenly noticed. We'll go off in a huff, leaving behind the impression to others that the messenger was dead wrong and we're little angels. It's really amazing what we'll do to get out of admitting our sin, when you get right down to it.

I wish the churches now days would go back to preaching about how deadly sin is, how contagious it is, how ugly and nasty it is, and how filthy it is. Those days seem to be long gone though, so we're only likely to learn about that when we read and study our Bibles with the Lord.

I’ll put a divider here for those who need to take a break before finishing this.

So what are we to do today if we are or have been guilty of that sin? First, the same thing Ezra asked for...we'd need to confess our sin - agree with God that we have sinned, and repent of it. Repentance means to turn away from the sin and do what's right according to God. In this case that would mean going to the Lord and asking His help to help us stand firm in our faith and to live in a manner that honors him.

We need to recognize that by marrying an unbeliever we've basically placed ourselves smack dab in the middle of a spiritual war zone that's going to be constantly active. Therefore we will have to deal with twice as much temptation as we would have had to normally. Our enemies, the world, our flesh, and Satan, and even our spouse will make growing in our faith much more difficult for us. There will be twice as many marital problems and issues that we'll have to deal with because of our marriage as well.

Basically by disobeying God we've put ourselves in a very dangerous position no matter how much we love our spouse or how wonderful they are. We've married "the enemy". (Remember, the Lord says that all who aren't saved are His enemies, and that we were His enemies before we were saved too. Romans 5:10; Colossians 1:21; James 4:4). We will have to be on high alert constantly until the day comes when our spouse is finally saved.

Not only will we have all these extra problems, but we won't have the wonderful fellowship and the kind of love that the Lord wanted for us to have in our marriage. When we're saved, the Lord pours His love into our hearts so we can know what love really is and He tells us what real love is in His Word, in places like 1 Cor 13. But the unsaved can only love in a more superficial way, the world's way. So we miss out on the deep, personal, intimate real love and fellowship that we could have had if we'd only obeyed God.

Praise God though that His mercy is new every morning and all that we could have had, we still can when our spouse is saved! Therefore our most important and very first job will be to pray for them and keep praying for them, and to tell them about the Lord and salvation constantly until they are saved.

Of course, we know that some Christian marriages aren't all that great, either and sometimes console ourselves with that. But the Truth is that the reason they're not that great is because one or more of the partners isn't as dedicated to Christ and His Word as they should be, because if they both were, their marriage would show it.

I remember when I had to face this sin so many years ago. I praise God for His mercy in bringing me to repentance and forgiving me. I especially thank Him too for saving my husband in spite of me! So often though, we're like children and think the Lord's rules aren't important and are only ruining our fun because we think there's no good reason for them. The truth is that God's laws are for us, not against us. They're to help us have the very best life possible here, if only we would trust and obey.

You know what would have helped me back then though? What I wish for? I wish we had good godly men like God had back in the "Bible days" or even back a hundred years ago. Men who weren't afraid to stand before their congregation and tell them that God means it when He tells us not to marry an unbeliever. I know that even today there are pastors who won't marry someone to an unbeliever, but I haven't heard of many that will tell the couple "why" he won't. (other then that it's because God says so) Nor have I heard of many that will go a step further then just saying "No, I won't marry you to them", and tell them that it's a sin.

It's really amazing how good we are at deceiving ourselves. When we're told "no", we generally don't realize it's a sin. Well, it's not so much that we don't realize it as that we don't put one and one together and don't allow ourselves to think about it at all. Instead we focus on how we're going to get what we want, which is to be married, instead of why the pastor won't do it. That's why I think it would help so much if a pastor went that one step further and stated right out front that it is a sin against God and that it's even worse when we are knowingly sinning against Him. To hear that, for most of us, would have been like a slap in the face, and just might have brought us to our senses!

Christian Accountability

It's sad, but I've found that most Christians want absolutely nothing to do with accountability. Instead of accepting reproof and correction as the Bible says we're too, they get angry and stomp off. (either literally if it's in person or by becoming angry and defensive and leaving the site if it's on line) Instead of realizing that the person cares about them and is trying to help them, they take it as an attack. Let me share a story of how I came to understand about this and maybe it'll help someone. I posted this in the sins forum so I'll just copy it from there:

After I was saved, the Lord gave me a wonderful woman to disciple me and I asked her to tell me every time she saw me sin. At first she wouldn't so I asked her why. She told me that she'd had many people ask her that very thing but every time she followed through and told them about it, they'd just get angry, which of course compounded the sin. I have to admit that I was totally shocked by that. I just couldn't even imagine someone getting angry because another believer had shown them that they were sinning. It just didn't make any sense at all to me!

Well I finally convinced her that I really meant it and wouldn't get angry. And so she began to tell me each time she'd see me sin. We set aside time at the end of the work day so it wouldn't interfere with work. She did a wonderful job of showing me my sins gently, just the way the Lord does. She never just dumped them on me but would point out one thing and then help me pray and work on it, looking at scripture that talked about that issue. Then we'd go onto the next thing etc. It was really wonderful and I grew SO MUCH during that time.

To me it was like having a spiritual mother. (or father I guess) As a child, I could count on my mother to always tell me the truth about myself, even if it was going to hurt, and then she'd help me do something to change it. And that's what we were doing now with her telling me about my sins. It's always much easier to see someone else's sins then to see your own. So it was a big help having her do that for me.

When I had to quit working due to an injury that made me disabled, I was no longer able to see her regularly and had to continue on my own. I really miss having someone that I can count on to tell me the Truth about me though. I've discovered for myself however that she was very right about most people not wanting to know what their sins are. I guess it goes back to pride or something. But I've seen more people get angry because they've been told they've done something wrong/they sinned, then anything else in the last 10 years. It still always takes me by surprise too.

How in the world can we conquer the sin in our lives if we don't realize it's there? Obviously the way to know about it is to know God's Word, but still, we're all experts at fooling ourselves. Well, at least I am. Since I am so good at it, I know I need help. I need to listen when others suggest I might be sinning, when others say I've done something I shouldn't have or that I have the wrong attitude about something or someone etc. So, that's what I try to do on my own now. Well, not really on my own, because the Lord always finds a way, a person, a situation or something to bring sin to my attention so I can deal with it.

Each Christian is called to help, stimulate, reprove, correct, and encourage one another within the body of Christ, and we're called to do that by using scripture, not by using worldly "wisdom" or anything else but scripture. In today's world, with it's focus on psychology and self help, and being told we're all basically good. tolerance of sin, etc, it's very hard to find Christians who honestly and truly WANT to know when they've sinned and aren't going to turn on you in anger (adding to their sin) when they're told so. Much to my dismay, I've found that my mentor was right. Most people don't want to know when they're wrong about something, when they've sinned, all they really want is a pat on the back and a "atta boy" or "you're doing great!". Thankfully there are a few, but not many at all. The reason that's so very sad to me is because it should be the other way around. Every Christian should first realize that they are a sinner, even though they're saved and they should realize that they need to be shown their sins and be grateful when someone does so.

James 5:16 tells us to confess our sins to one another. That's not talking about telling some priest so he can forgive you, because forgiveness comes from God alone. We're to talk to each other about our sins though for several reasons. One reason is that when we hide our sins from each other, it gives that sin more power over us. Sin and Satan love darkness and grow in the darkness. God loves the light and tells us to bring everything out into the light so it can't have anymore power over us.

Another reason for this is that when we don't talk to others about it, we tend to let it fester inside us so that to us, it just seems bigger and nastier all the time. When we talk about it with other Christians, it brings the sin down to a manageable size because we're able to be reminded that God is bigger then our sin.

Yet another reason is because when we don't talk about it, there's the danger or forgetting it or even minimizing it to ourselves and thinking, "oh it's not so bad". Isn't it amazing how we'll go to either extreme when we hide our sins? We'll either allow them to become huge monsters that stop us or we'll turn them into playful little mice that don't really bother us, and both are sinful ways of dealing with our sin.

As members of one body, we should all want to help each other and we should all want help ourselves.

I've just got to share something with you from a book I'm reading as it surprised me by addressing this subject too:

How are we to deal with such people? Scripture says to admonish the wayward. The Greek term employed (nouthe-teō) means “to put sense into in light of the consequences.” If you know believers who are not doing their duty—not using their gifts, not being supportive of the team effort—come alongside and put some sense into their heads. One way to do that is to speak softly and say, “I’ve been noticing you haven’t been faithful in your attendance, you’re not involved in a ministry, and you tend to criticize the church. You realize, don’t you, that if you continue in that path, there are spiritual consequences, and I don’t think you want those consequences, nor do I want you to experience them.”

It’s to be a gentle, loving warning, yet also have some passion in it. That’s how the Apostle Paul warned the elders of the Ephesian church: “with tears” (Acts 20:31). There’s a hurt in it that says, “I don’t want you to keep going in that direction because God will chasten apathy and rebellion.” When you truly love someone, you don’t hesitate to warn him or her. I don’t hesitate to do that with my wife and children and others who are close to me. It’s not because of some agenda I’ve got, but because I don’t want them to have to deal with the inevitable consequences of being spiritually aloof. I want them and everyone else in the church to know the fullness of God’s blessing.

This confrontation is necessary. The point of coming to church isn’t sitting and staring at the back of someone’s head. It’s a fellowship; it’s being involved in the lives of fellow believers—including the troublesome ones.

MacArthur, J. Anxiety Attacked.

SPIRIT–FILLED SUBMISSION

SPIRIT–FILLED SUBMISSION

“Be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.”
EPHESIANS 5:21

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Spirit–filled believers will submit to one another.

To the world, submission implies personal weakness or the coercive dominance of one person by another stronger, more intimidating individual. Such perspectives, however, are unbiblical. The noted expositor Martyn Lloyd–Jones describes submission’s original meaning in a military context, which helps us understand its scriptural definition:

It is the picture of soldiers in a regiment, soldiers in a line under an officer … and if he [the soldier] begins to act on his own, and independently of the others, he is guilty of insubordination and will be punished accordingly. Such is the word the Apostle uses; so what he is saying amounts to this—that we who are filled with the Spirit are to behave voluntarily in that way with respect to one another. We are members of the same regiment, we are units in this same great army. We are to do that voluntarily which the soldier is “forced” to do.

In addition to Ephesians 5:21, the New Testament repeatedly expresses the importance of submitting to one another. Philippians 2:3–4 tell us how mutual submission ought to operate: “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” And Hebrews 13:17 commands us to submit to our spiritual leaders: “Obey your leaders, and submit to them; for they keep watch over your souls, as those who will give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with grief, for this would be unprofitable for you.”

The only way we can possess any of those traits or exhibit any of that behavior is to be continuously filled with the Holy Spirit. Then we will be able to voluntarily and joyfully submit to the Lord and one another in love, just as the apostle John urges: “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and every one who loves is born of God and knows God” (1 John 4:7).

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Suggestions for Prayer: Examine your heart and see if your attitude has been a biblically submissive one. ✧ Ask God’s Spirit to reveal and correct any sinful shortcomings you’ve had in that regard.

For Further Study: Read Romans 12:10; 1 Corinthians 4:7; 1 Timothy 5:21; James 2:1. List comparisons and contrasts between these verses and what Philippians 2:3–4 says about mutual submission.

Romans 12:10 —Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. *

1 Corinthians 4:7 —For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not? *

1 Timothy 5:21 —I charge you, in the sight of God and Christ Jesus and the elect angels, to keep these instructions without partiality, and to do nothing out of favoritism. *

James 2:1 —My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don’t show favoritism. *

Philippians 2:3–4 —Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. *Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. *

MacArthur, J. (1997). Strength for today. Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

Sharing Our Love

As a human body has connected tissues, muscles, bones, ligaments, and organs, the body of Christ is comprised of members who are responsible to one another. No member exists detached from the rest of the body any more than lungs can lie on the floor in the next room and keep a person breathing. The health of the body, its witness, and its testimony are dependent on all members faithfully ministering to one another.

The church was never intended to be only a building—a place where lonely people walk in, listen, and walk out still alone—but a place of fellowship. In his book Dare to Live Now! Bruce Larson says:

The neighborhood bar is possibly the best counterfeit there is to the fellowship Christ wants to give His Church. It’s an imitation, dispensing liquor instead of grace, escape rather than reality. But it is a permissive, accepting, and inclusive fellowship. It is unshockable, it is democratic. You can tell people secrets and they usually don’t tell others, or want to. The bar flourishes not because most people are alcoholics, but because God has put into the human heart the desire to know and be known, to love, and be loved, and so many seek a counterfeit at the price of a few beers ([Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1965], p. 110).

This need for fellowship is not met simply by attending the Sunday services, whether they be small groups where everyone is known or large congregations where that is not the case. A desperate need for personal, intimate fellowship exists in the church today. And this fellowship, like the ministering of the gifts, is intrinsic to manifesting practical unity. Finding a good church fellowship is no small matter in our onslaught against anxiety.

In true fellowship Christians don’t judge one another; they don’t bite and devour each other; they don’t provoke, envy, lie to one another, speak evil, or grumble about one another. Since true fellowship builds up, the godly will receive one another, and be kind and tenderhearted toward one another. They will forbear and forgive one another, serve one another, practice hospitality ungrudgingly to one another, admonish, instruct, submit to one another, and comfort one another. That is the true fellowship of Christ’s body—life touching life to bring blessing and spiritual growth.

Too often Christians place themselves inside little glass bubbles and try to look like supersaints, as if they hadn’t a problem or worry in the world. They aren’t willing to share openly and expose their sins to a fellow believer. They don’t know what it is to have another believer say, “That’s the same thing I’m going through. Lets pray for each other.”

A brother in Christ confessed a sin to me and promised to tell me each time he committed it. Later he told me that promise prevented him from committing the sin again because he didn’t want to endure the shame of telling me about it. Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote powerfully of this privilege of
confessing our sins to one another:

Sin demands to have a man by himself. It withdraws him from the community. The more isolated a person is, the more destructive will be the power of sin over him, and the more deeply he becomes involved in it, the more disastrous is his isolation. Sin wants to remain unknown. It shuns the light. In the darkness of the unexpressed it poisons the whole being of a person. This can happen even in the midst of a pious community. In confession the light of the Gospel breaks into the darkness and seclusion of the heart. The sin must be brought into the light. The unexpressed must be openly spoken and acknowledged. All that is secret and hidden is made manifest. It is a hard struggle until the sin is openly admitted. But God breaks gates of brass and bars of iron (Ps. 107:16; Life Together [New York: Harper & Row, 1954], p. 112).

Confessing our sins to one another results in a purer fellowship of people who know and love one another—who understand one another’s needs, anxieties, and temptations. What strength resides in such a community!

Here is a key principle that all Christian communities should operate by: “If a Christian is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help him back onto the right path, remembering that next time it might be one of you who is in the wrong” (Gal. 6:1, TLB). Pick him or her up and say, “Let me show you from the Word of God what is going on. Let’s pray together. Let’s walk on the right track together.” That is restorative care. We as Christians haven’t done our duty if we only rebuke. We need to come alongside and restore—in love.

That verse is perhaps the clearest example from Scripture of how we as believers are to look out for one another. In attacking anxiety, be encouraged to know that angels are looking out for you, but also make a point of knowing and being known by mature believers in a context of mutual ministry. The responsibility of finding such a fellowship is yours. Never underestimate the power of godly fellowship in bearing the burden of your anxieties.

MacArthur, J. (1993). Anxiety Attacked. MacArthur Study Series (72–73). Wheaton, IL: Victor Books.