Bible Study Chat #21

Job 2:11–13 —When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. *When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. *Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was. *

I thought we'd just cover the above verses for today. When we first see Job's 3 friends, they seem like really great friends. To me these verses show us what real love does when someone is hurting. Each of them traveled quite a long way in order to be with him for one thing. It wasn't like they lived in the same town and just went over to see him. Not only that, but they didn't go to Job's home to see him, because remember, he's out with the lepers by a pile of refuse. (garbage). It was an ash heap because they burned the refuse there. So these 3 guys traveled a long distance, not to go to a nice cozy hotel or home and visit a friend, having a nice meal etc. Instead they came to dump and sat in the ashes with Job. They literally did what the Lord tells us, as the body of Christ to do: They mourned with those who mourned. They weeped with those who weep.

They didn't try to cheer him up with meaningless words that wouldn't help anyway, as so many of us do when we visit someone at a funeral or hospital. They just sat there with him. They didn't say a word, unless you count crying as speaking. And honestly, isn't that what people who are hurting badly sometimes need? Just someone to be there with them, to show that they care enough to be there and don't have to bother them with empty words, but instead can just cry with them, sit silently, put their arm around them maybe and that's all? What a blessing that would be! These friends of Job sat like that with him for a full 7 days and 7 nights. It wasn't a quick little visit out of duty. They really loved Job and they showed him that love by mourning with him instead of trying to stop him from mourning.

I think I already mentioned this, but in case I didn't, notice also that when his friends arrived, they almost didn't recognize Job because his face was so disfigured from the disease. That's another indicator of how sick Job was.

As I said though, to me these verses show what the Lord means when He says we're to mourn with those who mourn. (Romans 12:15) They embody what is said about the body of Christ in 1 Corinthians 12:26 —If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. *- at least for the 7 days spoken of in these 3 verses. They showed God's kind of love during these 7 days instead of the world's kind of love. Their love for Job was sacrificial as they'd come a long way to see him and when they arrived, they didn't arrive to sit in comfort but stayed in the ash heap with Job. They thought of him and not themselves for those 7 days and simply mourned over his great tragedy with him.

Unfortunately, it didn't last as we'll soon see.

Notice that last line again too: "No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was." They realized that there was nothing they could say that would ease his emotional pain and didn't try to find things to say anyway, which is usually what we do. For some reason, it's hard for us to keep our mouths shut and allow people to feel pain. It's like we have to do something, anything to stop the pain, or at least distract the person from the pain or something to make it a little easier for them.

I can remember many years ago something happened that made me cry, and I could see that my husband didn't know what to do or how to handle it when I cried, which is very rare for me. So I just told him what to do. I remember telling him to "just hold me; let me cry, don't try and make me stop; just hold me and let me get it out." And he did. It was the most comforting thing he could have done for me. After I was better, we discussed it and I explained that sometimes we just need to cry and the most helpful thing to do is not to leave us alone, but to do as Job's friends did: come and be with us, hold us, but don't try to stop us, just let us cry.

Job's suffering was so great that his friends recognized that this was a pain that needed to be expressed, not stopped, and they realized there was nothing wrong with Job expressing his pain or with them expressing it with him. A very good lesson for all of us of what to do when a friend is hurting due to the loss of a loved one or some other great loss.

 

Originally Posted by eva_from_greece

Thats one thing I often think about. I often see people around me in a terrible condition. I know that by not accepting God they allow bad things, and I pray. I pray about my family and a lot of people. But nothing happens, nothing changes. Does this mean God didnt answer my prayer? No! That means that unfortunately most people dont accept Gods offer. But, Satan wants me to think that God dont listen... But I wont
Something out of topic I want to share with you. God did something great! There was a dog that have been raped in Athens last August, she survived but since then nobody was interested in adopting her. Despite the angry messages people wrote about the man who did this, despite their anger nobody actually did something other than making comments... She was the most famous animal of 2013 because of that, but still one animal that nobody would like to adopt. And I said to give it a try and mention this on my website. 2000 people shared this and yesterday she found a home! People who took care of her mention this as a miracle and I am very happy about this! Also, God used me for something good :) I am glad about this also. They thanked me, but I said that I didnt do anything. The trap could be to think that I did this and that happened because of me. But even though I was tempted I took my thoughts captive and avoid this bad bad thought

 

That's wonderful Eva! You're doing so very well! And I love how you understood that God has indeed heard your prayers and is answering them, but that the people haven't accepted His offer yet. There is one other thing to consider as well. Do you remember the story about Esau and Jacob in the Bible? (It starts in Genesis 25:24 with their birth through Genesis 33)

Remember how Jacob took advantage of Esau all the time; took his birthright and his blessing, and then ran away because he was afraid Esau would kill him? While he's living away from home, God taught him many things and began changing him. He finally learned to think of others and not just himself. He talks to God a lot and God helps him. Then, many years later, he decides to return home, but he's scared because he doesn't know if Esau is still angry or not, but thinks he is, so he prays to God to help him.

Their mother wanted to have peace in the family so I'm sure she was praying that her two boys would learn to get along with each other. But it sure didn't look like God was answering that prayer! Especially not when Esau wanted to kill Jacob and Jacob had to run off to another place to live for awhile. She probably felt like God was either saying "no", or hadn't heard her prayers. But He had heard them and He was working on both of those boys hearts that whole time! What the mother saw as a "bad thing", when her son Jacob had to leave home in fear of his life, was actually part of an answer to her prayer! If he hadn't been forced to leave home, he would not have met with God and would not have met his future wives, and most importantly, would not have learned all the lessons he needed to learn to change him from being self centered, to being God and other centered! While all of that was going on with Jacob, Esau was also being taught lessons he needed to learn by God. Both boys began to change for the better and continued to as the years went by. Until finally, they both became totally new men and were able to get along with each other.

So all during all those years, God was working on each of them, and He was answering her prayer. She just didn't know it, because she couldn't see what was happening in their hearts, and of course couldn't see Jacob at all since he wasn't at home anymore.

There are many other examples of this all through the Bible. It shows us that true, lasting change usually doesn't happen overnight or all at once. Instead, it's a process where God works with the person to change them from the inside out.

It teaches us that God does hear our prayers and He does answer them and that this is the reason He tells us that we must live by Faith and not by sight. To their mother, nothing seemed to have changed, but in fact, the two selfish boys were growing to be loving, responsible, godly men. In Jacob, God brought about a spirit of humility and generosity. Esau was changed from seeking revenge to seeking reconciliation. It was only after these years of working on their hearts that the answer to her prayer could be clearly seen in the physical world. But if we live by faith instead of sight, then we can know that God is working things out even though it doesn't look like anything has changed.

When the answer to our prayers seems to be delayed like that, it also teaches us patience and patience has it's perfect work to do in us. For patience, also called perseverance, must finish it's work in us so that we may be mature and complete in our faith. (James 1:4)

Remember too that James 1:6–7 tells us that when we pray and ask God for something, we need to pray without doubting. We are not to doubt that God will answer our prayer, because when we doubt it shows we don't have faith in God. It doesn't matter how much time has passed, whether it's one day, one year, one decade, or if you've been praying for something for 40 years or more. We must believe that God hears our prayer and has and is answering our prayer. We can know that we will see the answer in God's own perfect time, not ours. So we don't allow ourselves to believe our feelings or any of the lies Satan whispers to us or yells at us. Instead, we just keep walking and praying by faith and not by sight, knowing that pleases Him. Remember, trusting God, having faith that He will answer our prayers is not a feeling, it's a choice, a decision we make.

Finally, God also sometimes delays the answer to our prayers to determine just how badly we want something. Of course He already knows the answer to that, but often, we don't. We think we want something, but when the answer is delayed, we just give up. That shows us that we must not have wanted it very much since we're not willing to continue to ask Him for it. Just as when Jesus wrestled with Jacob all night that time, remember that? Why did Jesus let Jacob continue to wrestle with Him all night long? All He did at the end was touch Jacob's hip and disable him. He could have done that within a moment of when they started wrestling, but He didn't. He waited. He let Jacob keep at it all night long before He ended it. Why? So Jacob could see how badly he wanted that blessing of forgiveness and hope. And so Jacob would know that if he really wanted it, then he couldn't give up when things seemed to be taking a long time, or not going "his way". He would have to trust God to be doing what was best for him. It's the same way for us when we pray for something. God wants us to see just how much we want it, and what we're willing to sacrifice for it.

 

Originally Posted by jackswife

Yes indeed. It's getting ahead of the story, but many well meaning folks (including myself) have added hurt to someone already hurting because instead of just being there we feel the need to say something "to make it better" and that "something" turns out to be the wrong thing.

 

Yes, I'm afraid that I'm just as guilty as others for doing that very thing at times.