I used to think that I couldn't ever be an Idolater

I used to think that I couldn't ever be an idolater, but boy was I wrong! I also used to pride myself that I could never be called an adulterer and again, I was wrong! When I was first saved, my idea of "sin" was breaking one of the commandments and I took all of them quite literally. (not that there's anything wrong with that). As I grew in my faith though, I came to realize that anything and anyone I put before God was idolatry. Then I got a real shock when God showed me that an idolater was also committing spiritual adultery! Tell you what, those revelations really knocked me down a peg or two!

I'm a pretty stubborn person though,which, by the way, is usually also a sin unless it's being purposely used to obey the Lord, and I was determined that I wasn't going to let anything come before the Lord in my life. Needless to say, the Lord seemed to immediately start throwing wrenches in the works to show me the truth about myself.

One of the hardest things for me to get straight was "other people" and where they fit in my life with the Lord. It seemed like every time I decided to spend time with the Lord, I'd be interrupted. My kids needed this or that, husband wanted something, or others would call and things like that. I knew I was supposed to love others and think of others before myself, so at first I always jumped up and did whatever was asked of me, even if it was just visiting with someone. The hard thing about this was that often when I did that, by the time I was finished, I had to go do something else, like housework, errands, etc. and before I knew it, the day was over and I hadn't had my time with the Lord and His Word.

Then I realized that by allowing that to happen, I was putting all of those people and things before God. I just didn't know what to do then, because I knew that people were important to the Lord but that I also really needed that time with Him and His Word every day. So, I asked Him for help. I asked Him to help me by protecting my time with Him. I'd love to say that He did and no one ever bothered me again during that time but that's not what happened. Nothing really changed much at all.

Finally though I realized that I was going to have to speak up and let people know that I was spending time with Him and would like to have some privacy during that time. My family was fairly cooperative but it was still hit and miss, and again I realized that it was mainly my fault. I didn't have a "routine" set up. I just did it whenever I "felt like it" each day, or whenever I "had the time". So I decided to make a routine for myself to follow and actually schedule time for the Lord at the same time each day. This took some trial and error for me as well as I had to find the time that worked best for me, both physically as well as spiritually. I finally settled on first thing every morning and have been doing it at that time for more years than I care to count now.

Once I had my routine in place, I had to again let everyone know that 6am to 7am was my time with the Lord and I didn't want to be disturbed. Once I did that, the Lord did protect my time with Him, and I've rarely been disturbed. When I was disturbed at first, I simply reminded them about it and that was that. Now, all I have to do is let "new folks" know so they know not to call during that time.

Sounds fairly easy and straight forward doesn't it? It is really, but for me, it was hard to tell people I loved not to disturb me during that time. It wasn't until later that the Lord showed me that by doing that though I had set a good example for my children and everyone else. There was/is no question in their minds that I mean it when I say that's my time with the Lord and no one else. It let them know that He was and is that important to me.

The other part that was hard for me was forcing myself to spend time with the Lord even when I didn't feel like it. I know, it sounds just awful to say that out loud, but there were times when I just didn't want to study His word, or times when I just didn't feel like praying and times when I didn't want to do either one, especially if I wasn't feeling well. It took time, but the Lord eventually showed me that I was once again being idolatrous when I did that. I was shocked because there was no one before Him! But there was. I was putting myself and my feelings before Him. As I prayed about it, I remembered when Jesus prayed in the garden and knew then that He most likely didn't "feel like" being crucified that day either. I felt pretty ashamed of myself then, and since then simply have reminded myself of what He did for me and that took care of that bit of idolatry.

I have to share too though that every single time that I didn't "feel like" spending time with the Lord and His Word, but did it anyway, within a few moments of starting, 5 at the most, the Lord always, always, got me so interested in what we were studying, that I'd wind up not wanting to stop! He's always like that though. Every time we take the smallest step toward Him in obedience, He blesses us so much more then we deserve!

I've also learned over the years that having a routine like this really helps prevent us from backsliding too. Because once you've done something like this long enough, it becomes second nature to you....it's not something you even think about doing, you just do it. When we're studying His Word daily with Him, it nourishes our spirits so they become stronger and which enables us to fight sin and temptation in our lives and win. It enables us, with the Lord's help, to live a life of victory here and now as we apply His Word to our lives each day. Plus, it's through His Word and staying in communion with Him, that He changes us to be more and more spiritually mature.

My idolatrous ways were finally over then, right? Nope. I found another one. Oh, I kept my routine, but sometimes I'd find myself "cheating" and just kind of skimming through things or praying in general or out of duty rather then from my heart. Those were always times when I felt that I was "running behind schedule" and that I had to get here to Fresh Hope and start posting. After all, this was/is God's site and He gave me this job, so didn't' I have to be here for X hours a day every day to do it? If I was "late" wouldn't that mean I was being disobedient to Him? If I was the Lord, I'd have been pulling my hair out over me by this time. Thankfully though, He showed me that working for Him, wasn't as important as being with Him. I always get this picture in my mind of not being plugged in to Him, when I didn't have my time with Him first, so since I wasn't plugged into Him, I therefore couldn't do my job for Him the way it was/is supposed to be done. (my version of the vine and the branches ) I wish I could say that I realized that truth quickly but I didn't. Once He got that through my thick head though, I repented from that as well.

I do still ask myself and the Lord every once in awhile if I'm putting anything or anyone before Him, because I don't ever want to be guilty of that again. Isn't it amazing just how many stumbling blocks we put in our own way when it comes to spending time with Him and His Word daily ....even when we know there's nothing more important??? I guess it shows us just how stubborn our sin natures are though....